As the saying goes "hard work always pays off." Modern society has this notion that if you suffer through something long enough, then the golden nugget will eventually choose you worthy of having all that you desire. Here is a question for this philosophy. If hard work pays off, then why aren't more people happy? Even after the "desired" result achieved, people are still not content and want more. The answer to this question is not easily found.
The thing that people miss in achieving what they want is that they believe that their pain will be relieved once the specific result has come to pass. When people do not feel satisfied with getting the thing they wanted, a common statement from others is "you are never happy with anything." "Maybe it is not what you really wanted." Is this really the case? From my experience, neither one of these are true. No one is angry about not getting that promotion or that the beach property they moved to is not as good as it seemed when they planned everything out. People are mad because their internal pain still exists even after they put in "all that work" regardless of the result. What people are angry about is that they did not find a more enjoyable way to achieve their goals. Enjoyment or fun is doing something for the sake in itself and not for a means to an end. In other words, most if not all causes of anger all boils down to not knowing how to achieve goals by taking actions done for the sake of themselves and not as a means to an end. Happiness is doing something for the sake in itself and anger is doing something for a means to an end.
Most people live a means to an end lifestyle. We all went to college in order for the promise of a better job. Then when people get out of college, they complain about the job they have. They keep thinking that "someday," my hard work will pay off, and I will live "the life." The work is done and "the life" finally becomes a reality, but the person is still unhappy. He or she is mad because the end result did not relieve his or her pain from all the "work" that was completed. One would argue that the individual's expectations were too high and that the pain would not have been so great if he or she just expected less. Expecting less just means that you anticipate disappointment before even setting out for the goal that is trying to be reached. Disappointment is just a lesser degree of anger. The person is saying that he or she will not like any process used to achieve the goal.
Everything comes back to process and self worth. People always say that something is not worth the "effort," "time," "work," or "aggravation." Here is the issue with this statement. It puts the worth on something else other than yourself. In other words, it is like saying "I do not value myself enough to find a process that I can do for the sake of itself in order to achieve my goals."
Enjoyment of the process is what brings happiness to most if not all people. When people reach goals by doing thing for the sake in of themselves and not for a means to an end, then not achieving the goal by a specific time is not met with anger. The journey we take to the end goal is more important than the end goal itself. This last line is a bit cliche, but it is true. The process matters more because when choose the process of how we obtain our goals, we are putting the value back on ourselves and not on something else.
Window to The Spirit Realm
The lessons I have learned from incorporating spiritualism into everyday life.
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Does Hard Work Always Pay Off?
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Monday, May 14, 2018
The Truth About Job Security
Career and financial securities are probably a top priority
for a lot of people. Everyone wants to
know that they will be taken care of all the time. The old saying goes, “you might be ok with
your job, but is your job ok with you?”
Everyone has heard this in one form or another at some point in his or
her life. In could not be further from
the truth.
I recently had a position at Toyota Financial Services. I was a customer representative for the lease
end department. I spoke to people about
their excessive wear and use bills along with disposition fees. I have worked in call centers before, so the
complaints about how much things cost were nothing new to me. My supervisor stated that he needed to do
some side by sides with me so he could get a better picture of how I handle
customers. It took him two weeks to sit
down with me during four phone calls to make sure I was doing everything
right. I had already been taking calls
for a month before this transpired. This
was one of the telltale signs that told me the job I was doing was not the
right one for me. I would sometimes
stare out the window and look at the shining its bright light on everything in
sight. I would think to myself,
“wouldn’t it be awesome if I could be out in the sun right now instead taking
calls from customers that ultimately do not want to pay their bill no matter
how little money is owed. This was
another sign that the job I was doing was not in my best interest
whatsoever. I use Uber and Lyft quite
often to get myself back and forth from place to place. I started to get picked up from drivers who
“used” to work at Toyota Financial themselves.
This was not only an indicator that I was in the wrong job, but that my
time as a customer service representative would come to an end shortly.
A few weeks after the events described above came and went,
I was let go from my position at Toyota Financial Services. I was not let go due to performance
issues. I was ok with my job for the
most part, but my job was not ok with me.
If this were the case, then I would still be there now taking the exact
same calls over and over again. I saw
all the signs telling me to get out, but I did not think that my time would
come so soon. The reason given for my
termination was because I was absent too many times within a short period. I was only out three times within two
months.
What I learned is that there is no such thing as external
security. It is up to the individual to
be secure in his or her own decisions.
What may seem secure may disintegrate in the blink of an eye. There is no point in holding yourself back in
life due to the false sense of security that something else may bring an
individual. Everyone secures themselves
by committing to their decisions. That
is the only security one has in life anyway.
We can only secure the choices that we make. Everything else is always up in the air.
What Fear Really Means
When a person decides to engage in something, he or she
usually does this based on how much fear is present within him or herself. Everyone speaks of fear as if it is
multifaceted in some way. There is only
one fear, but the human mind puts labels on what that one fear is for the
individual. No one is actually afraid of
anything itself. What people fear the
most is the perceived lack of knowledge of how things will work out.
The human mind loves being guaranteed something. The guarantee eases us into believing that we
have knowledge of how a situation will work out. No one actually fears lack of money, home,
friends, or relationships. What these
fears are is actually just the feeling of not having the knowledge of how
things will fall into place. What
actually leads to negative situation is when people try to control everything
in their lives so that nothing bad happens.
The more that a person tries to make something happen a certain way, the
harder it usually ends up being for him or her.
I have been dealing with lack of knowledge issues myself in
recent times. My whole world changed
completely in March of this year. I got
a new job working for Toyota Financial Services. Three weeks after I landed this job, I scored
a job interview in my desired city of Phoenix Arizona three weeks later. I took my chances and flew out there for the
interview. I never had been to Phoenix
before, but I have been doing a lot of research about the area because I plan
to move there by the end of June. Yes, I
put my current job at risk in order to achieve something better. It turns out that the job was not quite up to
par with what I had been told over the phone.
I ended up not getting the job anyway.
I was not too crushed because deep inside I knew I was worth more. Did fear pop up and make me wonder I was
going to make my move happen since I did not have all the information? Yes it did.
I will succumb to it from time to time.
All fear does is keep a person from moving forward. The individual keeps beating to the same old
drum, and he or she gets stuck in a loop.
I then had an opportunity to go to Maui for a mindset
workshop. Getting a plane ticket to Maui
is not cheap on an income of $17 an hour, but I did it anyway. The decision to take this trip was up in the
air for a couple of days. I wrestled
with this decision for a lot of hours before deciding that I wanted to change
my life once and for all. I wavered
back and forth on this decision because I feared the lack knowledge that of how
things will turn out. I still remain
uncertain even now about how everything will be paid for as far the entire
event is concerned, but all I can do is live an authentic life and have faith
that something will pull through before everything takes place. I invested all the resources I had into
traveling and changing my life around for the better. All I can really do at this point is let my
investment work for me.
Due to changing my priorities, I lost my position at Toyota
Financial Services. This made me doubt
everything I invested in up into this point.
My mind went into a loop, and I thought all of my decisions were
garbage. In actuality, all that really
happened is that a new road opened up for me.
In order to go down this new road, I had to put on my turn signal and
get off the old road so that I could travel on the new one. My bank account at a glance looks a lot
smaller than it did a few weeks ago, but this is not the case. I have not allowed the money I invested to
finish working for me in order to bring a greater amount of return. Most people would say that I do not have
money right now, but that is because my money all tied up in investments. Do I feel comfortable about this all the
time? The short answer is no. Do I still fear the lack of knowledge regarding
all of these investments? The answer is
yes. The only thing is that I have to go
through with it anyway because a better life awaits me on the other side of
this perceived lack of knowledge.
There is no trick to winning against the one and only
fear. The goal is not to make the fear
less prevalent, but to make one’s desire to live their truth stronger than the
lack of knowledge. Once a person’s desire to live his or her truth is big
enough to make the lack of knowledge seem small, then he or she will see that
fear is just an illusion that was created by the mind.
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Tips on Parenting a Child with Disabilities
When speaking of disabilities, the focus always in on the on
the individuals who are suffering from them.
There is not a whole lot of guidance for parents living with other
individuals with disabilities. Sure,
there are the medical journals that try to prepare the anticipating mother and
father about what they can expect from their child, but the content within this
medium only gives the basics. One size
does not fit all, when it comes to children who are disabled. Here are some other tips to consider when
going about day to day life.
·
Accept the fact that your child functions
differently than those who do not have a disability. The child will have to learn how to do things
that might seem to go against the “norm” of how everyone else was taught. Do not try too harshly to appear too “normal”
in order to function in society. Do not
let everything slide, but do not become so strict to the point where things are
more difficult than they really have to be.
·
Avoid telling your child that his or her life is
harder than everyone else’s. The only
reason why this is said is due to limited thought patterns. If you find alternate solutions to problems,
then your child’s life does not have to be harder.
·
Find a balance between letting your child do
things him or herself and helping out when necessary.
·
Avoid taking the seemingly easiest route in
every case. We all do not like hurdles
in life, but sometimes these hurdles show us things that we never realized
before. Your child will have his or her
own set of challenges that he or she must face.
An example of such a challenge would be a grown child living inside of a
rancher home with a parent because most apartment complexes have steps, While this sounds like the logical option at
first glance, this will keep your child from growing as an individual. Adapting to new situations will help your
child realize how capable he or she is as a person, it will give him or a boost
in confidence.
·
Avoid doing something for your child because he
or she is too slow to complete the task.
If the task needs to be handled in addition steps, then so be it. Your child will get faster and learn new ways
to do things as his or her skills grow.
·
Do not tell your child that he or she cannot do
something because of their disability.
This can create a lifelong belief that goals cannot be achieved because
of something out of the individual’s control.
Since he or she believes that his or her desires cannot be fulfilled due
to having a disability, then the individual will not even believe that smaller
day to day things can be accomplished.
.
It is always harder to do the right thing than it is to go
with popular opinion. Disabilities are
still seen as something that impacts a person’s life in a negative way with
absolutely no positive benefits whatsoever.
The fact of the matter is that people with disabilities have the
potential to teach others what it is like to live authentically. Do not let your child live a mundane existence
where he or she feels that life limited in every way possible. One of the best gifts in life is to share
one’s wisdom with others. Your child
will acquire knowledge that a lot of other people will not know about, and this
is what makes their potential to succeed in life so great.
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Sunday, March 11, 2018
Molehills to Mountains
Minor pet peeves can get bigger if an individual does not honor his or her emotions. If one does not create a boundary for him herself, then things can go south pretty fast. It is always that one person who disrespects another individual in small ways that add up over time. This person in my life is my roommate.
The relationship as a whole is not too terrible. I found it rather annoying that she laughed at me when I said that I wanted a new dresser for Christmas this past year. Both she and I were not doing that well financially last year. Even with this fact, I did not appreciate the laughter. I should have said something in the car when this competition conversation transpired, but I did not want to start an argument over it. Being positive can be difficult sometimes due to my roommates negativity. Sometimes I absorb her negative thinking and believe that it is my own. I was worried about doing my taxes while living under the table in a different place than what is on my legal documents. The thing that I did not realize at the time is that my roommate prefers the apartment to look as if no one else lives there but her and so that line of thinking entered my head while trying to get my taxes done for the current year. I still have ways to go in deflecting the negativity of others.
My roommate is always in a rush to get somewhere. I question where she is trying to get half the time because I do not understand the reaeon behind it. She would drive me somewhere, and then rush me to get out of the car. It is only a few minutes more, so I don't understand what the big deal is really about. You always have more time. Time does not go anywhere My roommate seems like she has a split personality. She can be so gentle at times, and then gets caught up in anger. It is rather weird.
Maybe I try too hard to look past an individual's fault in order to see his or her more positive traits. I should call her out on things when they happen and stick up for myself more often instead of letting things slide. The truth of the matter is that the relationship does not work. it never has. My roommate let me stay at her place due to a foreclosure on my father's house. It is time for me to move on and say goodbye. There's no point in trying to prolong my stay. We are in two different worlds trying to occupy the same space, but it is not working any longer. Letting go can be difficult, but it is a necessary evil when it comes to moving forward in one's life. I accept that this aspect no longer works, and I want to embrace the new coming into my life.
The relationship as a whole is not too terrible. I found it rather annoying that she laughed at me when I said that I wanted a new dresser for Christmas this past year. Both she and I were not doing that well financially last year. Even with this fact, I did not appreciate the laughter. I should have said something in the car when this competition conversation transpired, but I did not want to start an argument over it. Being positive can be difficult sometimes due to my roommates negativity. Sometimes I absorb her negative thinking and believe that it is my own. I was worried about doing my taxes while living under the table in a different place than what is on my legal documents. The thing that I did not realize at the time is that my roommate prefers the apartment to look as if no one else lives there but her and so that line of thinking entered my head while trying to get my taxes done for the current year. I still have ways to go in deflecting the negativity of others.
My roommate is always in a rush to get somewhere. I question where she is trying to get half the time because I do not understand the reaeon behind it. She would drive me somewhere, and then rush me to get out of the car. It is only a few minutes more, so I don't understand what the big deal is really about. You always have more time. Time does not go anywhere My roommate seems like she has a split personality. She can be so gentle at times, and then gets caught up in anger. It is rather weird.
Maybe I try too hard to look past an individual's fault in order to see his or her more positive traits. I should call her out on things when they happen and stick up for myself more often instead of letting things slide. The truth of the matter is that the relationship does not work. it never has. My roommate let me stay at her place due to a foreclosure on my father's house. It is time for me to move on and say goodbye. There's no point in trying to prolong my stay. We are in two different worlds trying to occupy the same space, but it is not working any longer. Letting go can be difficult, but it is a necessary evil when it comes to moving forward in one's life. I accept that this aspect no longer works, and I want to embrace the new coming into my life.
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The Fear that Lurks Deep Within
The first time I felt the need to leave my job was when I was kicked off on storm duty in January 2016. My supervisor said that I was too sluggish getting inside the building when there was thirty inches of snow on the ground. She also indicated that I was holding up other people from starting work on time because they needed to help me get inside. I got put up in a hotel, and the company almost made me pay for it. After I returned to work, I started getting sick left and right. I had Pharyngitis, and I was diagnosed with adult allergies. My supervisor kept telling me to go home a lot. When I eventually caved in, I got hit with a warning for taking too many sick days. mMy father eventually passed away and I could not find adequate transportation back to work. I got on short term disability, and I was told that my leave could last up to a year by the HR supervisor. The head nurse Sallie Dicus kept pushing me to go for long term disability even after I told her that no doctor would sign for it. I saw a psychiatrist, and he stated that he would need to see me for a few months before he would sign anything.
My whole problem was the company I worked for would not make any good accommodations to help me continue with employment. The company was perfectly capable of turning me into a mobile representative. Due to a specific rule that says a rep needs to have all three skill levels to become mobile is ridiculous. I had high marks on all my call reviews and was exceeding expectations. The company should have met me halfway, but policy was policy and nothing could be done.
I'm grateful for the experience because it taught me how to stand up for myself. I now know how to make quick and important decisions because of everything that transpired. I have learned to take my power back. This whole incident created my fear of working in corporations as a whole, but the only reason the fear existed was because I was too afraid to go to extremes to better my life.
To add insult to injury, I have taken a shadow job instead of going for the one that I really want. The job that I have taken has a lot of similarities to the job that I really desire, but it's just not as good. I had the idea that if I took one job that I could not have the other one. However, I can always leave a job for the real one at any point. I fear being locked into a contract, and not being able to escape. The thing I need to understand is that I and always a free agent. No one owns me whatsoever. I can pick and choose how I run my life. If a few bridges burn, then so be it. There are plenty more bridges to be crossed.
My whole problem was the company I worked for would not make any good accommodations to help me continue with employment. The company was perfectly capable of turning me into a mobile representative. Due to a specific rule that says a rep needs to have all three skill levels to become mobile is ridiculous. I had high marks on all my call reviews and was exceeding expectations. The company should have met me halfway, but policy was policy and nothing could be done.
I'm grateful for the experience because it taught me how to stand up for myself. I now know how to make quick and important decisions because of everything that transpired. I have learned to take my power back. This whole incident created my fear of working in corporations as a whole, but the only reason the fear existed was because I was too afraid to go to extremes to better my life.
To add insult to injury, I have taken a shadow job instead of going for the one that I really want. The job that I have taken has a lot of similarities to the job that I really desire, but it's just not as good. I had the idea that if I took one job that I could not have the other one. However, I can always leave a job for the real one at any point. I fear being locked into a contract, and not being able to escape. The thing I need to understand is that I and always a free agent. No one owns me whatsoever. I can pick and choose how I run my life. If a few bridges burn, then so be it. There are plenty more bridges to be crossed.
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Monday, January 15, 2018
Life is what you make it
Life can throw a bigger curveball than expected. It is important that one keeps a positive attitude and outlook during this time. when a person believes that he or she has already achieved his or her goals then things will flow more smoothly. The negative aspects of a situation will not seem so terrible as they might look at first glance.
The smaller things are what one needs to remember when faced with hard times. Health mobility, and thoughts almost always are taken for granted by most people. If someone has the ability to get up in the morning without an issue, then he or she can physically make things better for him or herself. Thoughts are what dictates what a person does on a day-to-day basis. If someone chooses thoughts that allow him or her to be adaptable, then a positive outcome will be reached. The more a person thinks about the struggle he or she is facing the more difficult it will become. whatever one puts out into the world will come back to him or her later on down the road. This is why showing gratitude for what one has is important. The more a person is happy with what he or she does have, then the faster other desired goods will come into one's life.
Life is made up of whatever one focuses on the most. Options are always available to everyone, but a lot of them are not taken into consideration due to the fear of things not working out. The options that are passed up could be the best way to change one's situation. The key is to be open to anything that presents itself and things just might go in the desired direction.
Life is made up of whatever one focuses on the most. Options are always available to everyone, but a lot of them are not taken into consideration due to the fear of things not working out. The options that are passed up could be the best way to change one's situation. The key is to be open to anything that presents itself and things just might go in the desired direction.
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