The Truth About Job Security

Career and financial securities are probably a top priority for a lot of people.  Everyone wants to know that they will be taken care of all the time.  The old saying goes, “you might be ok with your job, but is your job ok with you?”  Everyone has heard this in one form or another at some point in his or her life.  In could not be further from the truth.

I recently had a position at Toyota Financial Services.  I was a customer representative for the lease end department.  I spoke to people about their excessive wear and use bills along with disposition fees.  I have worked in call centers before, so the complaints about how much things cost were nothing new to me.  My supervisor stated that he needed to do some side by sides with me so he could get a better picture of how I handle customers.  It took him two weeks to sit down with me during four phone calls to make sure I was doing everything right.  I had already been taking calls for a month before this transpired.  This was one of the telltale signs that told me the job I was doing was not the right one for me.  I would sometimes stare out the window and look at the shining its bright light on everything in sight.  I would think to myself, “wouldn’t it be awesome if I could be out in the sun right now instead taking calls from customers that ultimately do not want to pay their bill no matter how little money is owed.  This was another sign that the job I was doing was not in my best interest whatsoever.  I use Uber and Lyft quite often to get myself back and forth from place to place.  I started to get picked up from drivers who “used” to work at Toyota Financial themselves.  This was not only an indicator that I was in the wrong job, but that my time as a customer service representative would come to an end shortly. 

A few weeks after the events described above came and went, I was let go from my position at Toyota Financial Services.  I was not let go due to performance issues.  I was ok with my job for the most part, but my job was not ok with me.  If this were the case, then I would still be there now taking the exact same calls over and over again.  I saw all the signs telling me to get out, but I did not think that my time would come so soon.  The reason given for my termination was because I was absent too many times within a short period.  I was only out three times within two months. 

What I learned is that there is no such thing as external security.  It is up to the individual to be secure in his or her own decisions.  What may seem secure may disintegrate in the blink of an eye.  There is no point in holding yourself back in life due to the false sense of security that something else may bring an individual.  Everyone secures themselves by committing to their decisions.  That is the only security one has in life anyway.  We can only secure the choices that we make.  Everything else is always up in the air.        

What Fear Really Means

When a person decides to engage in something, he or she usually does this based on how much fear is present within him or herself.  Everyone speaks of fear as if it is multifaceted in some way.  There is only one fear, but the human mind puts labels on what that one fear is for the individual.  No one is actually afraid of anything itself.  What people fear the most is the perceived lack of knowledge of how things will work out.

The human mind loves being guaranteed something.  The guarantee eases us into believing that we have knowledge of how a situation will work out.  No one actually fears lack of money, home, friends, or relationships.  What these fears are is actually just the feeling of not having the knowledge of how things will fall into place.  What actually leads to negative situation is when people try to control everything in their lives so that nothing bad happens.  The more that a person tries to make something happen a certain way, the harder it usually ends up being for him or her. 

I have been dealing with lack of knowledge issues myself in recent times.  My whole world changed completely in March of this year.  I got a new job working for Toyota Financial Services.  Three weeks after I landed this job, I scored a job interview in my desired city of Phoenix Arizona three weeks later.  I took my chances and flew out there for the interview.  I never had been to Phoenix before, but I have been doing a lot of research about the area because I plan to move there by the end of June.  Yes, I put my current job at risk in order to achieve something better.  It turns out that the job was not quite up to par with what I had been told over the phone.  I ended up not getting the job anyway.  I was not too crushed because deep inside I knew I was worth more.  Did fear pop up and make me wonder I was going to make my move happen since I did not have all the information?  Yes it did.  I will succumb to it from time to time.  All fear does is keep a person from moving forward.  The individual keeps beating to the same old drum, and he or she gets stuck in a loop.

I then had an opportunity to go to Maui for a mindset workshop.  Getting a plane ticket to Maui is not cheap on an income of $17 an hour, but I did it anyway.  The decision to take this trip was up in the air for a couple of days.  I wrestled with this decision for a lot of hours before deciding that I wanted to change my life once and for all.  I wavered back and forth on this decision because I feared the lack knowledge that of how things will turn out.  I still remain uncertain even now about how everything will be paid for as far the entire event is concerned, but all I can do is live an authentic life and have faith that something will pull through before everything takes place.  I invested all the resources I had into traveling and changing my life around for the better.  All I can really do at this point is let my investment work for me. 

Due to changing my priorities, I lost my position at Toyota Financial Services.  This made me doubt everything I invested in up into this point.  My mind went into a loop, and I thought all of my decisions were garbage.  In actuality, all that really happened is that a new road opened up for me.  In order to go down this new road, I had to put on my turn signal and get off the old road so that I could travel on the new one.  My bank account at a glance looks a lot smaller than it did a few weeks ago, but this is not the case.  I have not allowed the money I invested to finish working for me in order to bring a greater amount of return.  Most people would say that I do not have money right now, but that is because my money all tied up in investments.  Do I feel comfortable about this all the time?  The short answer is no.  Do I still fear the lack of knowledge regarding all of these investments?  The answer is yes.  The only thing is that I have to go through with it anyway because a better life awaits me on the other side of this perceived lack of knowledge. 

There is no trick to winning against the one and only fear.  The goal is not to make the fear less prevalent, but to make one’s desire to live their truth stronger than the lack of knowledge. Once a person’s desire to live his or her truth is big enough to make the lack of knowledge seem small, then he or she will see that fear is just an illusion that was created by the mind.     

Tips on Parenting a Child with Disabilities

When speaking of disabilities, the focus always in on the on the individuals who are suffering from them.  There is not a whole lot of guidance for parents living with other individuals with disabilities.  Sure, there are the medical journals that try to prepare the anticipating mother and father about what they can expect from their child, but the content within this medium only gives the basics.  One size does not fit all, when it comes to children who are disabled.  Here are some other tips to consider when going about day to day life.

 

·         Accept the fact that your child functions differently than those who do not have a disability.  The child will have to learn how to do things that might seem to go against the “norm” of how everyone else was taught.  Do not try too harshly to appear too “normal” in order to function in society.  Do not let everything slide, but do not become so strict to the point where things are more difficult than they really have to be. 

·         Avoid telling your child that his or her life is harder than everyone else’s.  The only reason why this is said is due to limited thought patterns.  If you find alternate solutions to problems, then your child’s life does not have to be harder.

·         Find a balance between letting your child do things him or herself and helping out when necessary. 

·         Avoid taking the seemingly easiest route in every case.  We all do not like hurdles in life, but sometimes these hurdles show us things that we never realized before.  Your child will have his or her own set of challenges that he or she must face.  An example of such a challenge would be a grown child living inside of a rancher home with a parent because most apartment complexes have steps,  While this sounds like the logical option at first glance, this will keep your child from growing as an individual.  Adapting to new situations will help your child realize how capable he or she is as a person, it will give him or a boost in confidence. 

·         Avoid doing something for your child because he or she is too slow to complete the task.  If the task needs to be handled in addition steps, then so be it.  Your child will get faster and learn new ways to do things as his or her skills grow. 

·         Do not tell your child that he or she cannot do something because of their disability.  This can create a lifelong belief that goals cannot be achieved because of something out of the individual’s control.  Since he or she believes that his or her desires cannot be fulfilled due to having a disability, then the individual will not even believe that smaller day to day things can be accomplished.

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It is always harder to do the right thing than it is to go with popular opinion.  Disabilities are still seen as something that impacts a person’s life in a negative way with absolutely no positive benefits whatsoever.  The fact of the matter is that people with disabilities have the potential to teach others what it is like to live authentically.  Do not let your child live a mundane existence where he or she feels that life limited in every way possible.  One of the best gifts in life is to share one’s wisdom with others.  Your child will acquire knowledge that a lot of other people will not know about, and this is what makes their potential to succeed in life so great.  

Detransition: The Little Black Sheep

Detransition is seen as taboo within the transgender community.  A lot of people fear discussing it because they do not want to admit that it could be them one day.  Those that oppose the transgender community use detransition as a reason why transgenderism is disorder of some kind and not an actual identity.  Most just tend to avoid the topic altogether. 

There are a few things that I noticed when doing some minor research about the issue online. Detransiton seems to be a bit more common in the the female to male population and less so from those who transitioned from male to female. I looked up detransition on youtube a few times and most people who shared their stories were female to male. An article I read over the internet through a friend focused mostly on those that transitioned from female to male.  I cannot put my finger on why this is the case. My best guess is that the health risks associated with testosterone are lot more severe than the ones linked to taking estrogen. Maybe that is a bit of a stretch, but it is known that testosterone is a stronger hormone than estrogen.  It will not take as long for one to see the effects of the changes in his or her body as it would for someone transitioning from male to female.  Other than this small observation, it is still a mystery as to why detransition seems more common among the female to male population.

Some people have reported going through another serious issue in their lives at the time they decided to transition.  A person's life is not going to magically change just because he or she transitioned. One has to transition for him or herself. An individual is still going to have the same interests and emotions as before the transition took place. A person will have the same traits as he or she did before his or transition took place. An individual might be happier after transition, but the other aspects of him or her probably will not change that much.

There has been a lot of talk regarding how easy going doctors are these days to prescribe hormones.  Some argue that medical professionals should probe individuals about why they want to start hormones to make sure they are doing it for a good reason.  I do not think that care for transgender individuals needs to go back to the “gatekeeper” system, but I do think that a person should think about things long and hard before they do anything to his or her body. A person should be able to do what he or she wants with his or her body. I do believe that there should be guidance, but the decision is ultimately up to the individual. If the person regrets the decision later in life, then he or she will have to deal with those consequences.  This is why some people choose to live as the other gender for a while before they start hormones. No one says anything when people are of drinking age or smoke cigarettes, so why should hormones be any different?  I was told the risks of hormones before I took them. I had to sign a paper stating I understood that what I was going to do to do to my body was of my own free will.  Being “young and stupid” is not an excuse to institutionalize “gatekeeping.”  Any transgender person could decide to come off of hormones at any time.  They will still have to deal with the repercussions of what will happen to his or her body.     

The question regarding hormones being right for an individual is actually rather simple. Does one feel that in-congruent with his or her body enough to want to alter it almost permanently outside of other persisting issues?  Being transgender can be extremely confusing.  I was confused for ten years before I took any serious steps to do anything about my dysphoria.   Hormones are not a joke by any means. Even though, it takes a while to physically notice a difference in one's body, the changes start from the first dose that is taken.

 

The key to having a successful transition is to know what all the risks and challenges are before going forward.  There are always going to be things that come as a surprise when a person begins this process.  As long as one takes responsibility for the choice that he or she has made, then there will never be any regrets regardless of the outcome.  The most important part about the decision to transition is the power of choice.  The individual is living life his or her way.  Life itself is all about learning.  The journey is more important than the end result the majority of the time.  As long as one keeps pushing forward, he or she will always come out on top.      . 

Is a Disability Really an Obstacle?

Living with a disability or perceived negative trait is a very difficult thing to wrap one’s head around.  At first glance, it may seem like all a person does is overcome obstacles left and right.  This is especially true if the disability is of the physical type.  In actuality, a disability is a gift that can be used as a tool.

Seeing a disability or perceived negative trait as nothing but an obstacle is just an illusion the mind creates due to pressures put in place by society to conform to the “norm.”  Basic hygiene functions can be a challenge when an individual is younger, but the majority of the hassle comes from others who do not understand that those with disabilities or traits that seem less desirable need to do things their own way in order to make an impact on the world.  Once the gifted person understands that he or she can take control of his or her own life, then the disability or perceived negative trait is no longer a hindrance of any kind.  In other words, once a person with a disability understands his or her design, then the challenges associated with the gift are minimalized. 

Cerebral Palsy is my gift to the world.  I have a particular form of Cerebral known as Spastic Diplegia.  This condition affects my legs more severely than my upper limbs.  It is difficult to get around when it is cold outside due to my muscles becoming stiff.  I am also not able to drive due to coordination issues with using both hands simultaneously in opposing directions.

It would in the best interest of the individual with a disability or perceived negative trait to use the unique gifts that come with it to propel him or herself forward.  Instead of seeing a particular attribute as a blockade to achieving a goal the "tried and true" way, a person should find out how to use it to create opportunities for him or herself and other people.  Once an individual learns how to see a disability or perceived negative trait as a gift, then they will be able to obtain the things in life that they desire.   

I have a strong grasp on how to use technology to my advantage.  I might not be able to physically write that legible, but my thoughts are what give my words strength.  I am able to type on a computer, so I can still manage to let others know what I have to say.  If I could turn writing into a career, then I would not have to worry about transportation from one place to another on a daily basis.  I would not have to worry about being the fastest person in the physical sense.  My mind is my greatest asset.  My mind will be what attracts the resources for the type of life that I wish to live.  Being the fastest person from a physical standpoint is going against my design.  I was not designed to be a pack horse.  I was designed to inspire others with my words and positive energy.  There are plenty of others in the world that might be designed to be fast from a physical perspective.  I am not one of those individuals, and that is alright.

Everyone should be able to live their lives using their strengths.  I have firsthand knowledge of what it is like to be gifted with Cerebral Palsy, and so I should be helping others minimalize their challenges so that they can live brighter futures.  

Through writing about my experiences with Cerebral Palsy, I am using my gift as a tool rather than seeing it as an obstacle.  My disability has become less of a mountain once I started using it for a purpose.  The gift of Cerebral Palsy is to be used as a tool for teaching.  It is not supposed to be seen as a wall that needs traversing.  Only a fool would throw away such a treasure.