Life is what you make it

Life can throw a bigger curveball than expected.  It is important that one keeps a positive attitude and outlook during this time.  when a person believes that he or she has already achieved his or her goals then things will flow more smoothly.  The negative aspects of a situation will not seem so terrible as they might look at first glance.

The smaller things are what one needs to remember when faced with hard times.  Health mobility, and thoughts almost always are taken for granted by most people.  If someone has the ability to get up in the morning without an issue, then  he or she can physically make things better for him or herself.  Thoughts are what dictates what a person does on a day-to-day basis.  If someone chooses thoughts that allow him or her to be adaptable,  then a positive outcome will be reached.  The more a person thinks about the struggle he or she is facing the more difficult it will become. whatever one puts out into the world will come back to him or her later on down the road.  This is why showing gratitude for what one has is important. The more a person is happy with what he or she does have, then the faster other desired goods will come into one's life. 

Life is made up of whatever one focuses on the most.  Options are always available to everyone, but a lot of them are not taken into consideration due to the fear of things not working out.  The options that are passed up could be the best way to change one's situation.  The key is to be open to anything that presents itself and things just might go in the desired direction.

Are Concerts Worth it?

Concerts are always a difficult experience for anyone with a disability.  It is never a great idea to be in a room hundreds of people all crunched together.  Someone always gets hurt every time a gathering such as this takes place.  The bands that I saw firsthand were not that memorable.

The first band I ever saw live was the pop punk artist Green Day.  The band’s fourth album Insomniac had just come out a few weeks prior to this show.  I remember tickets being sold for fifteen dollars each.  I was only nine years old when this was happening, so my chances of actually seeing Green Day were rather slim.  This concert also took place on the first Monday in November of 1995.  I thought that there is no way my parents would let my brother and I go to a concert at all let alone on a school night.  The worst thing that could happen was that both parents tell me that I could not go. 

Things do not turn out how I am imagined in my head.  Both of my parents actually said that I could go to the Green Day concert.  I am sure that they were aware that this would be a one-time thing.  My brother and I even got to stay home from the school the next day.  Our father would be the one to take us to the show.  You could not be that with a stick. 

The concert was held at the Baltimore Arena.  I came to the concert in a wheelchair.  The security checked my body up and down for harmful substances; however they never bothered to check the book bag that I kept on the back of the chair.     

All three of us sat in seats that were pretty far from the band.  The members were a bit hard to make out, but the show was a blast.  Green Day played all of their hit songs at the time.  The set included tracks such as Basket Case, Geek Stink Breath, Welcome to Paradise, Longview, and She.  The only incident I remember occurring was a girl in the mosh pit being dropped on her head.  She must have been crowd surfing. 

I did not go to another concert again until the January of 2001.  This concert was just full of local punk bands.  The show took place in Towson.  The temperature outside was around twenty degrees on the night the outing.  My brother found out about this concert through some friends.  We showed up quite early for the show and had to wait about an hour before security let everyone inside the bar.  They stamped the hands of everyone who was too young to drink. 

The show began, and it was loud as can be.  There was no assigned seating like at the previous concert.  The place was just a huge mosh pit.  I was in a wheelchair during the duration of the gig.  I almost got knocked over quite a few times.  I became more nervous about being tipped over after each bump from another individual.  The show finally ended, and everyone went home. 

I also went to another concert up by the Salvation Army in Westminster during March of 2001.  The setup was very similar to the last show.  There were no actual seats whatsoever.  The entire place was once again one big mosh pit.  People came in contact with my chair a lot more frequently this time around.  One person almost knocked the chair over completely.  Most of the music was pretty good.  None of the bands stood out in any way.  I eventually went into the back room to sit in a chair away from everyone else.  I was not able to see any of the bands from this room, but I did not care anymore.  I just wanted to be safe. 

After going to three concerts during the first fifteen years of my life, I realized that live shows just are not for me.  I had the opportunity to go to a Pennywise show about a month ago.  I turned this down because I was afraid of getting hurt.  I do not avoid many things due to fear, but concerts just do not sit well with me at all.  A person needs to be a bit more careful when he or she has a disability.  Live shows are places where the ignorance level is rather high, so it is best for someone like me to steer clear of these events altogether. 

A Lesson I Learned the Hard Way

I had one a very scary thing happen to me one Saturday night in late September. I was waiting for the Uber driver just outside J and P Pizza on Butler Rd. The guy pulled up and asked me if I was the passenger that he was supposed to pick up. I told him that I called for a vehicle about ten minutes beforehand.  He got out of the car in order to help me put the walker in trunk. While doing so, he touched my right arm ever so gently.  I got in the car and sit in the seat. The guy got into the driver's side, held out his hand and asked me my name. I said "my name is Lauren." I put my hand in his and he held my hand for about five seconds and did not move. The guy then asked me if I am below age of eighteen. I told him "no." He then tried to guess my age again. On his second guess, he placed my age at twenty four years old. I then made the decision to just tell him that my age at this point. The driver then started the car.

We began going down the road, and then the guy started the conversation up again. He said "I am fifty four and you are thirty." "You are beautiful, and I am old." Then he asked me if think that he is the best Uber driver that I have ever had.  I told him that everyone I have ever had the pleasure of riding with has been five stars. The guy got all excited and said "thank you." He then went on a rant about the treatment of riders towards drivers sometimes. About halfway from my house, he told me that I seem rather nice. This guy then asked if I was a student in school. I said that I graduated Mount Saint Mary's University. He then told me a little story about going out to dinner with a friend in Emmitsburg a few days prior. I told him that my father loved a restaurant called Mountain Gate. The driver then stated "loved, I am sorry to hear that your father passed away."

The conversation then switched to hobbies. I told him that I play music every now and then. The driver told me about his position as an acoustic guitarist in a band that covers classic rock from the seventies and eighties. I told him that one of my strings is broken, and that I have to replace it. The driver wanted to help me put a new string on the guitar. I told him not worry about it because my brother is coming down the next day and would help me with it. We finally reached my place a few minutes later. I got out of the car while the driver retrieves the walker from the trunk. He then asked if he can hold my hand again. I offered my hand to him once more. The driver then said that he had a feeling that I will be a good guitar player one day because I had nice hands. I then started heading inside the house and shut the door. I also locked the door, and I waited until the car left the court.

There are two possible reasons that this guy seemed extremely “friendly.”  The first reason is that he thought I was attractive in some way.  I have been told by others in the past that I have a very calm nature, and they feel better just be around me.   I do not think I am super pleasant in any way.  I am not horrible by any means, but I am not anything out of the ordinary as far looks or attitude goes.  I am not sure why this guy liked me so much. 

The only other reason that comes to mind is my disability.  Maybe this older guy thought about doing something evil to me, but decided against it because I held an intelligent conversation.  In other words, I did not show any signs that I was mentally challenged.  Hopefully this driver never comes across anyone who is mentally unsound because he might end up hurting him or her.

This whole incident made me more cautious about the company that I keep regardless if it is short or long term.  Some people in the world might take advantage of those who are disabled in some way.  If a person learns to trust in his or her own gut, then he or she can avoid situations such as the one I experienced.  I should have listened to my gut the moment he touched my hand while putting the walker in his car.  The driver seemed a bit too generous, I was lucky that nothing bad happened during the ride home.  Always make sure that you are comfortable being in the presence of a person before doing anything with him or her.  If you do not have a good feeling right off the bat, then this means that something is obviously wrong.  Stay safe and keep pushing forward.