Tips on Parenting a Child with Disabilities

When speaking of disabilities, the focus always in on the on the individuals who are suffering from them.  There is not a whole lot of guidance for parents living with other individuals with disabilities.  Sure, there are the medical journals that try to prepare the anticipating mother and father about what they can expect from their child, but the content within this medium only gives the basics.  One size does not fit all, when it comes to children who are disabled.  Here are some other tips to consider when going about day to day life.

 

·         Accept the fact that your child functions differently than those who do not have a disability.  The child will have to learn how to do things that might seem to go against the “norm” of how everyone else was taught.  Do not try too harshly to appear too “normal” in order to function in society.  Do not let everything slide, but do not become so strict to the point where things are more difficult than they really have to be. 

·         Avoid telling your child that his or her life is harder than everyone else’s.  The only reason why this is said is due to limited thought patterns.  If you find alternate solutions to problems, then your child’s life does not have to be harder.

·         Find a balance between letting your child do things him or herself and helping out when necessary. 

·         Avoid taking the seemingly easiest route in every case.  We all do not like hurdles in life, but sometimes these hurdles show us things that we never realized before.  Your child will have his or her own set of challenges that he or she must face.  An example of such a challenge would be a grown child living inside of a rancher home with a parent because most apartment complexes have steps,  While this sounds like the logical option at first glance, this will keep your child from growing as an individual.  Adapting to new situations will help your child realize how capable he or she is as a person, it will give him or a boost in confidence. 

·         Avoid doing something for your child because he or she is too slow to complete the task.  If the task needs to be handled in addition steps, then so be it.  Your child will get faster and learn new ways to do things as his or her skills grow. 

·         Do not tell your child that he or she cannot do something because of their disability.  This can create a lifelong belief that goals cannot be achieved because of something out of the individual’s control.  Since he or she believes that his or her desires cannot be fulfilled due to having a disability, then the individual will not even believe that smaller day to day things can be accomplished.

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It is always harder to do the right thing than it is to go with popular opinion.  Disabilities are still seen as something that impacts a person’s life in a negative way with absolutely no positive benefits whatsoever.  The fact of the matter is that people with disabilities have the potential to teach others what it is like to live authentically.  Do not let your child live a mundane existence where he or she feels that life limited in every way possible.  One of the best gifts in life is to share one’s wisdom with others.  Your child will acquire knowledge that a lot of other people will not know about, and this is what makes their potential to succeed in life so great.  

Life is what you make it

Life can throw a bigger curveball than expected.  It is important that one keeps a positive attitude and outlook during this time.  when a person believes that he or she has already achieved his or her goals then things will flow more smoothly.  The negative aspects of a situation will not seem so terrible as they might look at first glance.

The smaller things are what one needs to remember when faced with hard times.  Health mobility, and thoughts almost always are taken for granted by most people.  If someone has the ability to get up in the morning without an issue, then  he or she can physically make things better for him or herself.  Thoughts are what dictates what a person does on a day-to-day basis.  If someone chooses thoughts that allow him or her to be adaptable,  then a positive outcome will be reached.  The more a person thinks about the struggle he or she is facing the more difficult it will become. whatever one puts out into the world will come back to him or her later on down the road.  This is why showing gratitude for what one has is important. The more a person is happy with what he or she does have, then the faster other desired goods will come into one's life. 

Life is made up of whatever one focuses on the most.  Options are always available to everyone, but a lot of them are not taken into consideration due to the fear of things not working out.  The options that are passed up could be the best way to change one's situation.  The key is to be open to anything that presents itself and things just might go in the desired direction.

Traversing Through Transitions in Life.

Everyone goes through hard times every now and again.  During these periods, one has the potential to grow stronger.  Sometimes, when blockades seem to be everywhere, it is best for an individual to focus on what he or she can do to inspire other people instead of trying to find an immediate solution to a problem that keeps persisting.

I have been going through housing and career challenges for a little over a year now.  All the old in my life is leaving, but as of right now, it does not feel like any new is coming in to replace what has been lost.  It feels like I will just end up in a dark void somewhere.  I take this as a sign that I need to realize what talents that I already do have and need to use it in order to uplift other people.  I am too focused on trying to put an end to a situation instead of enjoying what I do have.  This seems to be a “go with flow” period in my life.  The more I force things to come to an end, the more blockades tend to pop up.  In other words, I have Chinese fingertrapped myself.  The more I keep pulling the worse everything gets.  I have to learn how to relax and move forward with caution.  Everyone from my past seems to have exited my life at this point.  Now I am forced to take a big leap of faith.  I have never taken a huge risk in my life.  It does not really seem like I have much of a choice in the matter.  The best thing that I can do for myself at this point is to have patience and keep inspiring other people through my writing until I can obtain clarity on this issue. 

If a person is stuck in a situation for a long time, then he or she most likely needs to look at what type energy is coming from him or her.  Is the individual coming from a place of fear or a place of love?  It is obvious that all of these blockades are just representations of the insecurities that I feel inside my own mind.  The same would probably hold true for everyone else as well.  One needs to find the positive aspects of the imagined turmoil in his or her life in order to succeed.  Once a person is accepting of the new, then it will start coming into his or her life.

Is a Disability Really an Obstacle?

Living with a disability or perceived negative trait is a very difficult thing to wrap one’s head around.  At first glance, it may seem like all a person does is overcome obstacles left and right.  This is especially true if the disability is of the physical type.  In actuality, a disability is a gift that can be used as a tool.

Seeing a disability or perceived negative trait as nothing but an obstacle is just an illusion the mind creates due to pressures put in place by society to conform to the “norm.”  Basic hygiene functions can be a challenge when an individual is younger, but the majority of the hassle comes from others who do not understand that those with disabilities or traits that seem less desirable need to do things their own way in order to make an impact on the world.  Once the gifted person understands that he or she can take control of his or her own life, then the disability or perceived negative trait is no longer a hindrance of any kind.  In other words, once a person with a disability understands his or her design, then the challenges associated with the gift are minimalized. 

Cerebral Palsy is my gift to the world.  I have a particular form of Cerebral known as Spastic Diplegia.  This condition affects my legs more severely than my upper limbs.  It is difficult to get around when it is cold outside due to my muscles becoming stiff.  I am also not able to drive due to coordination issues with using both hands simultaneously in opposing directions.

It would in the best interest of the individual with a disability or perceived negative trait to use the unique gifts that come with it to propel him or herself forward.  Instead of seeing a particular attribute as a blockade to achieving a goal the "tried and true" way, a person should find out how to use it to create opportunities for him or herself and other people.  Once an individual learns how to see a disability or perceived negative trait as a gift, then they will be able to obtain the things in life that they desire.   

I have a strong grasp on how to use technology to my advantage.  I might not be able to physically write that legible, but my thoughts are what give my words strength.  I am able to type on a computer, so I can still manage to let others know what I have to say.  If I could turn writing into a career, then I would not have to worry about transportation from one place to another on a daily basis.  I would not have to worry about being the fastest person in the physical sense.  My mind is my greatest asset.  My mind will be what attracts the resources for the type of life that I wish to live.  Being the fastest person from a physical standpoint is going against my design.  I was not designed to be a pack horse.  I was designed to inspire others with my words and positive energy.  There are plenty of others in the world that might be designed to be fast from a physical perspective.  I am not one of those individuals, and that is alright.

Everyone should be able to live their lives using their strengths.  I have firsthand knowledge of what it is like to be gifted with Cerebral Palsy, and so I should be helping others minimalize their challenges so that they can live brighter futures.  

Through writing about my experiences with Cerebral Palsy, I am using my gift as a tool rather than seeing it as an obstacle.  My disability has become less of a mountain once I started using it for a purpose.  The gift of Cerebral Palsy is to be used as a tool for teaching.  It is not supposed to be seen as a wall that needs traversing.  Only a fool would throw away such a treasure.