Molehills to Mountains

Minor pet peeves can get bigger if an individual does not honor his or her emotions.  If one does not create a boundary for him herself, then things can go south pretty fast.  It is always that one person who disrespects another individual in small ways that add up over time.  This person in my life is my roommate.

The relationship as a whole is not too terrible.  I found it rather annoying that she laughed at me when I said that I wanted a new dresser for Christmas this past year.  Both she and I were not doing that well financially last year.  Even with this fact, I did not appreciate the laughter.  I should have said something in the car when this competition conversation transpired, but I did not want to start an argument over it.  Being positive can be difficult sometimes due to my roommates negativity.  Sometimes I absorb her negative thinking and believe that it is my own.   I was worried about doing my taxes while living under the table in a different place than what is on my legal documents.  The thing that I did not realize at the time is that my roommate prefers the apartment to look as if no one else lives there but her and so that line of thinking entered my head while trying to get my taxes done for the current year.  I still have ways to go in deflecting the negativity of others.

My roommate is always in a rush to get somewhere.  I question where she is trying to get half the time because I do not understand the reaeon behind it.  She would drive me somewhere, and then rush me to get out of the car.  It is only a few minutes more, so I don't understand what the big deal is really about.   You always have more time. Time does not go anywhere   My roommate seems like she has a split personality.  She can be so gentle at times, and then gets caught up in anger.  It is rather weird.

Maybe I try too hard to look past an individual's fault in order to see his or her more positive traits.  I should call her out on things when they happen and stick up for myself more often instead of letting things slide.  The truth of the matter is that the relationship does not work.  it never has.  My roommate let me stay at her place due to a foreclosure on my father's house.   It is time for me to move on and say goodbye.  There's no point in trying to prolong my stay.  We are in two different worlds trying to occupy the same space, but it is not working any longer.  Letting go can be difficult, but it is a necessary evil when it comes to moving forward in one's life.  I accept that this aspect no longer works, and I want to embrace the new coming into my life.

The Ignorant Empath

Energy can be a difficult source to identify.  Everything itself is made up of energy, so one would not think that it would be a hard concept to understand.  The truth of the matter is that identifying the energy of a specific thing is rather challenging when an individual absorbs the energy of others and does not realize it.

I am what might be labeled as a thought empath.  Other people’s thoughts tend to stick with me for quite some time after they have been expressed.  This also means that I absorb a lot of the negative energy from others.  This happened a lot when the house from my childhood was up for short sale.  I was still living in the place at the time due to having nowhere else to go.   Most of my family kept worrying about me becoming homeless.  That was also a worry of mine as well, but I did not think the bank would be too quick to claim a property that was so run down that it was not even worth half the amount of the loans taken out against it.  Instead of having more of an optimistic outlook on the situation, I began to absorb all the negativity my neighbor would express about the whole housing issue.  Since I had my own worries about housing, I did not realize how much of an impact he was having on my thoughts.   Then one day, my neighbor came over to have me sign some papers in regards to the short sale, since he was also the realtor trying to sell the place.  I was feeling generally happy before he showed up.  After my neighbor left, thoughts of homelessness kept coming back into my head throughout the day.  I could not shake them whatsoever. 

Energy from others can also have an impact on the speed at which I receive thoughts as well as the mood I am currently experiencing at the current moment.  I tend to have quite the imagination.  When I am around a whole lot of noise, my imagination goes on overload, and my mood skyrockets into a level of euphoria unknown to most people.  Even after I leave the area where all the noise was occurring, it takes me a while to get back into a balanced mood.  Thoughts keep coming and the laughter never stops.   Sometimes I can get this way when I am all alone, but the euphoric mood is usually more prominent when I am in a room with a lot of people or noise.  In other words, the euphoric mood strikes when there is a lot of energy moving around. 

I always believed that all the thoughts I ever had were my own, but it turns out that this might not be the case.  I just have to learn how protect myself in the future from rooms with a lot of energy flowing back and forth.  I also need to realize that maybe not every thought that pops into my head is my own.  The seed of a certain line of thought might actually be from someone else, and has nothing to do with me at all.  Only time will tell how much truth there is to this new knowledge I have acquired.