The Ignorant Empath

Energy can be a difficult source to identify.  Everything itself is made up of energy, so one would not think that it would be a hard concept to understand.  The truth of the matter is that identifying the energy of a specific thing is rather challenging when an individual absorbs the energy of others and does not realize it.

I am what might be labeled as a thought empath.  Other people’s thoughts tend to stick with me for quite some time after they have been expressed.  This also means that I absorb a lot of the negative energy from others.  This happened a lot when the house from my childhood was up for short sale.  I was still living in the place at the time due to having nowhere else to go.   Most of my family kept worrying about me becoming homeless.  That was also a worry of mine as well, but I did not think the bank would be too quick to claim a property that was so run down that it was not even worth half the amount of the loans taken out against it.  Instead of having more of an optimistic outlook on the situation, I began to absorb all the negativity my neighbor would express about the whole housing issue.  Since I had my own worries about housing, I did not realize how much of an impact he was having on my thoughts.   Then one day, my neighbor came over to have me sign some papers in regards to the short sale, since he was also the realtor trying to sell the place.  I was feeling generally happy before he showed up.  After my neighbor left, thoughts of homelessness kept coming back into my head throughout the day.  I could not shake them whatsoever. 

Energy from others can also have an impact on the speed at which I receive thoughts as well as the mood I am currently experiencing at the current moment.  I tend to have quite the imagination.  When I am around a whole lot of noise, my imagination goes on overload, and my mood skyrockets into a level of euphoria unknown to most people.  Even after I leave the area where all the noise was occurring, it takes me a while to get back into a balanced mood.  Thoughts keep coming and the laughter never stops.   Sometimes I can get this way when I am all alone, but the euphoric mood is usually more prominent when I am in a room with a lot of people or noise.  In other words, the euphoric mood strikes when there is a lot of energy moving around. 

I always believed that all the thoughts I ever had were my own, but it turns out that this might not be the case.  I just have to learn how protect myself in the future from rooms with a lot of energy flowing back and forth.  I also need to realize that maybe not every thought that pops into my head is my own.  The seed of a certain line of thought might actually be from someone else, and has nothing to do with me at all.  Only time will tell how much truth there is to this new knowledge I have acquired.    

Traversing Through Transitions in Life.

Everyone goes through hard times every now and again.  During these periods, one has the potential to grow stronger.  Sometimes, when blockades seem to be everywhere, it is best for an individual to focus on what he or she can do to inspire other people instead of trying to find an immediate solution to a problem that keeps persisting.

I have been going through housing and career challenges for a little over a year now.  All the old in my life is leaving, but as of right now, it does not feel like any new is coming in to replace what has been lost.  It feels like I will just end up in a dark void somewhere.  I take this as a sign that I need to realize what talents that I already do have and need to use it in order to uplift other people.  I am too focused on trying to put an end to a situation instead of enjoying what I do have.  This seems to be a “go with flow” period in my life.  The more I force things to come to an end, the more blockades tend to pop up.  In other words, I have Chinese fingertrapped myself.  The more I keep pulling the worse everything gets.  I have to learn how to relax and move forward with caution.  Everyone from my past seems to have exited my life at this point.  Now I am forced to take a big leap of faith.  I have never taken a huge risk in my life.  It does not really seem like I have much of a choice in the matter.  The best thing that I can do for myself at this point is to have patience and keep inspiring other people through my writing until I can obtain clarity on this issue. 

If a person is stuck in a situation for a long time, then he or she most likely needs to look at what type energy is coming from him or her.  Is the individual coming from a place of fear or a place of love?  It is obvious that all of these blockades are just representations of the insecurities that I feel inside my own mind.  The same would probably hold true for everyone else as well.  One needs to find the positive aspects of the imagined turmoil in his or her life in order to succeed.  Once a person is accepting of the new, then it will start coming into his or her life.

Independence is a Nightmare

Taking big leaps in life can be difficult for absolutely everyone.  They can be devastating for those who have never lived independently at any point during his or her life.  Independence is a freeing experience, but it means that the illusions one might have lived under are now gone.  One finally realizes the weight of every decision he or she makes. 

I lived a sheltered life when I was younger due to being born with Cerebral Palsy.  My mother did not let me do anything by myself.  She always insisted on helping me with absolutely everything.  I never learned how to do basic things like dressing myself, going number two, and tying shoes until much later in my childhood than most other people. 

My father saw me as a source of pride.  He was proud of me for graduating college.  This was not for my sake.  It was for bragging rights on how well his bloodline was doing.  I had to do everything the way my father wanted without question.  Every time I would fight him on something, he would bring up the fact that he paid for my college education. My father also helped me get from place to place since I could not drive.

My job mimicked the relationship that my father and I shared.  I was told what to do and when.  I spoke to people on the phone using a script template helping them with their unpaid bills.  The only thing was that most people did not really want help understanding anything.  All they wanted to do was complain about why they could not work or whine about every minor tax charge on the bill.  The customers would ask what all of the tax charges meant.  I hated explaining every minor tax charge because there really was not a straight answer what each tax item.  I wanted to tell these people that taxes are part of life and to stop nickel and diming everything. Maybe they would they would get somewhere in life is they actually put effort towards something productive instead of arguing taxes that add up to a dollar on the second page of a bill.  I actually failed a call one time just because I politely told a customer that the reason that his was high was because he had not payment on it in five months.  I was told that I should have told him about energy saving tips instead.  Each individual bill was not high so telling the customer about the energy tips would have been incorrect information. 

After my father passed away last year, I felt free for the first time in my life.  I could actually do what I wanted.  I started studying a lot as well as writing.  I had started a youtube channel a few years earlier and went back and forth on whether I should continue making videos.  I thought that I would eventually find my way if I followed my passions to a degree.  Now everything has come crashing down. I lost my job, my doctor, my family, and my home.  I never had anything in my name before my father passed away, so organizations including homeless shelters will not help me.  I still have not narrowed down what I want to do with my life.  I do not know how to take steps to write for a living or counsel others.  I do not have the money for school.  Due to transportation restrains, I cannot afford to travel far away for job interviews.  I majored in philosophy when I went to college and graduated with Bachelor’s degree in Liberal Arts.  I decided to go into philosophy because I was bad at both math and science.  I lack practical skills outside Microsoft Office.  I do not perform well in fast paced environments.  Due to not being able to drive, my chances of being promoted to a high position by a company are rather slim.  Corporations want people that can adapt to new situations immediately.

Since I have lost everything in the area I am living now, I decided that the best course of action is to move far away.  I kept getting blocked from getting a place in the Baltimore area, so I took that as a sign that I should not be here anymore.  I do not know how to take steps to move somewhere else, and I cannot get help from anyone else because everyone I know is living in survival mode and feel that they cannot sustain themselves if they are not working at their jobs 24/7. 

I have begun to wonder if counseling others and writing is what I truly want to do, or is it something that seems desirable because it is better than call center work.  What if somehow I found a practical application for writing and counseling, but ended up hating it?    It does not seem like I will actually get the chance to see if that is true or not since I cannot figure out how to actually make money doing what I say I like to do.  Most of the daily grind jobs out there right now are customer service or sales jobs that pay less than where I was employed.  If my soul screamed like a banshee for me to get out of my current job, then why is it being so coy about what I should do next with my life?  When things are not going the way the universe wants, it will make a person ill so he or she will slow down and focus on other things, but when the individual does not know the steps to take, the universe only gives out small hints on what to do.  How did I get too sensitive to work in a call center in the first place?  I worked for two years without a problem, and then all the sudden, everything about the place bothered me to no end.  I also got sick a lot as well. 

I am not trying to state that the universe is against me, but I feel as though it is having its cake and eating it too.  It tells me in a sharp manner to head a different direction than the one that I have been going towards, but then it uses the “free will” card when it comes to what I should do next.  Where are all the theatrics and light shows when it comes to my new path?  Where was the “free will” card before I started having lucid dreams and incidents of sickness telling me to go in a different direction?  As I stated earlier I worked at the call center years without much of a problem.  I was fine with the job back then.  I never asked to have lucid dreams.  I did not know that lucid dreaming was possible, nor did I attempt to have a lucid dream.  Where was my   Now I have to get a similar job to what I just had that will pay a lot less.  Then when I do not have time to engage in my passions, the universe will once again come up on me and make me sick all.  I will be back to square one.

I do not know how to finish the cycle I am in right now.  I do not know how to meet my needs in a way that is actually beneficial to my sense of self.  I get thrusted in this new direction with no clarity about how to navigate.  I learned a lot of things and met many great people, but all of this does not help me manifest what I want in a practical way.  I have a lot of obstacles in my way that I do not know how to overcome by myself without help.  I have already asked help from others numerous times and was turned away. 

I do not understand how the universe expects me to be this independent right out of the gate.  People usually have to learn the ropes before they can do everything by themselves.  I am not completely in the dark.  I know how to take care of daily practical matters, but I am being asked to figure everything out myself even though the obstacles I face can only be overcome by multiple people.  I am just beginning to do things on my own, so why am I facing challenges that somebody with twenty years of experience of being independent would have a tough time handling?  I have asked the spirit world for help as well, but all I ever see is mixes 1s and 7s, 3s and 7s, 4s and 7s, and 1s and 6s.  The first three mixed numbers indicate that I am headed in the right direction.  The last number means to ask for help from others in regards to a material situation.  I am not going to count the times that I have asked for help and was turned down. 

I have done everything that I can possibly think of at this point.  The only thing I have not done is look how to ship my belongings across the country.  I will probably try that next.  My life in Baltimore is pretty over at this point, and staying that much longer would just be procrastinating the inevitable.  If there is not anything here, then that is it.  Under normal circumstances, one needs to plan out a big move, but all the events that have taken place are hardly traditional by any stretch of the imagination.  I am just going to have to figure out how to use my newly found sensitive and my writing skills as I go along.  I am not a huge fan of this approach, but it is all that I have as of right now.           

The Willingness to Change Leads to truth

Going through a spiritual ascension can be a rather difficult period in one’s life.  The individual’s beliefs start to change.  All of the friends a person had seem to drop off the planet for no reason.  The individual cannot seem to figure out the next step to take in his or her life.  Cold symptoms as well as hot flashes start appearing on a regular basis.  The sicknesses never escalate into anything serious. 

I started going through a spiritual ascension around two weeks ago.  The symptoms I was feeling mimicked the dental issues that I had back in the winter of 2016.  I thought some more teeth were infected in my mouth.  The right side of my face hurt quite a lot.  This issue calmed down six days later.  I then started feel small burning sensation in my legs, feet, and lower back.  The back of my head also felt like this as well.  They feel like hot poker burns.  This type of inflammation feels hot temperature wise.  The inflammation comes and goes spontaneously. 

I have been going through some serious fatigue.  I do not feel like doing anything a lot of the time.  Going to the bathroom has also changed as well.  My body tends to want to release fecal matter a little at time in chunks that are less solid than usual.  My body also does not feel as heavy even after eating foods such as lasagna or pizza. 

All of the symptoms are probably just indicators of something much bigger that will happen to me.  I am not talking about moving from one place to another or getting a new job.  Something else will happen that will tie everything together.  Whether this is something big in itself or something small that will be used to propel me forward to where I am supposed to go.  The solution to all of my issues is not going to be something easy.  I am going to have to take a huge leap if I want live my life my way.  No one else is going to be able to help me do it.  Most people do not bother taking their own power back.  I am trying to break free from the “daily grind” and live a life worth living.  I can only rely on myself to reach this goal.  There might be others here and there that might help me do specific things, but the rest is up to me. 

A spiritual ascension will push individual to his or limits.  It is going to strip away everything that is false about the individual with only the core exposed.  A spiritual ascension is where one’s authentic self truly starts to come into its own.  An individual can try to go back to what he or she did before, but it will not last.  The old way of living will collapse in on itself and take the person along with it.  One can either choose to follow his or her heart willingly, or the universe will use circumstances to force the individual to change.  Everyone has the will to decide to live up to their own truth or choose to hide away for the rest of their lives.  I am trying to change willingly.  I still have my bad habits, but I am still trying to push forward anyway.  I look forward to making the most of this energetic change that I am going through.  The changes that a spiritual ascension brings do seem scary from time to time, but they are most likely necessarily for an individual to achieve his or her desired goal.   

A Fragment in time that Changed my life Forever

Author's note:  (I just wanted to share something that I wrote a little over a year ago.  I recently have been a little down and out, but then I realized how far that I have come.  My thoughts are a lot more coherent now than ever before.  This is because of all of those who have taken time to read what I have written.  If no one read what I have posted, then I would have never gone anywhere.  Thanks goes out to all that have stood by me all of this time.)  

A person’s career is one of the most important aspects in his or her life.  Choosing the right path in regards to employment can be rather hard task due to pressures from the outside world.  A closer look at the personal traits of an individual will reveal the career that is best suited for him or her.

I am a heavily introverted person and tend to be receptive of the world instead of active.  I am slow to process information while evaluating the world around me before I come to any conclusions whatsoever.  I have a constant barrage of thoughts going through my head every second of the day.  I am a very imaginative human being despite coming off as mechanical in everything that I do.  Unordinary thoughts pop into my head at times when they shouldn’t.  I used to get angry at myself for being this way.  I wanted to be like everyone else and focus on the task at hand as it is presented to me.  However, I was not meant to be this way.  My inner world will always be a lot stronger than my outer world.  My inner world will dominate me even if I am in a room with hundreds of others.  When I lose my voice within my head due to sounds from the outer world, then I get frustrated and want to leave the area.  This is because I tend to pop in and out of existence when my inner world is threatened.  Without my thoughts, I am just a corpse, and I cease to be a human being. 

Working in call center poses huge problems in regards to my personality type.  I take calls back to back with no breathing room in between.  The loud beeping gets annoying quickly each time a call comes through.  The cell phone reception these customers have is complete garbage.  The volume of the static is unbearable in a lot of cases.  This means that my inner world is taken away from me.  This means that I pop in and out of existence while on the phone with other people.  This can create confusion in my speech, and so I will have to end up restating information multiple to customers due to my inner world and outer world competing for my attention.  My mind does not know which one to pick, which results into speech that can sometimes seem nonsensical. 

Break times are also a huge deal for me within the confines of the call center.  We have two fifteen minute breaks within an eight and half hour period.  There is a half hour time slot for lunch that can be taken away if calls keep coming through at an alarming right.  In situations such as this, everybody works through lunch.  The company provides, but what is the point when no one has time to eat it?  A person can only pack so much food into his or her cheek.  Everyone is also required to work mandatory on call on weeks assigned to them.  If a person has an early schedule, then he or she could be working up to four hours extra without any extra break.  People need adhere to the schedule that is given.  There is a bit of leeway regarding the time someone’s paid break begins and ends due to how long the last call runs before that individual can use his or her break time.    Going to the bathroom twice in ten to twelve hours is not enough for anyone with a sensitive pelvic floor.  I am sure others with a standard functioning pelvic floor are suffering as well, but to a lesser degree. 

The way the call center operates with sick days is flat out ridiculous.  If a person calls out sick, then he or she has to call three different numbers.  The employee needs to call his or her supervisor, the attendance line, and the human resources department.  The human resources department should not have any say on sickness whatsoever.  I had a few issues regarding potential gingivitis and pharyngitis.  I also had a few doctor appoints and a meeting with a lawyer that I needed to be present for during the winter months of 2016.  Because the company was in the middle of high bill season, I was not allowed take off for any reason.  I used sick time in order to go to all of my appointments.  It turns out that the company no longer offers the option to use the floating holidays everyone receives on a yearly basis as sick time.  I was formally written up for being sick too often.  One of days I was sick was due to the company encouraging me to go home due to coughing up a storm for a week straight.  The reason that this issue transpired is because the departments within the company that I work for do not communicate with one another.  Every time I have called down to another department to ask a question about a process for a customer’s account, the person on the other line has no clue what needs to be done.  No one talks to one another about anything or anyone.  Once an individual moves from the call center to another department, then he or she forgets all the knowledge that was learned during his or her time taking calls.  An employee should carry knowledge from one department to another even if the knowledge learned does not relate directly to the workload that the employee will be responsible for.  What is the point of doing a job if you are not going to learn anything from doing it? 

All of these events have led me to contemplate about embarking on a new career path.  It is clear that a highly sensitive individual such as myself has no business in a call center.  This call center is for extraverted who react to situations quickly without any kind reflection.  I do not know how to smooth things over in a nice way.  I am not overly blunt with the customers that I talk to everyday, but I do not know how to say things in order to alleviate the angry emotions that the customers are experiencing.  This is because I have to stick to the “script” that I was given in training.  If I cannot interact with the public in an honest and fulfilling way, then what is the point of my job other than to appease people?  If I cannot apply the skills I have learned throughout the entire company, then how can I take my career seriously when all I am doing work to keep myself busy. 

Because of all of the hustling that I have been doing, my health has declined.  I do not eat or drink the way that I should.  My lower back arms hurt from being leaned over a desk all day.  The door to the bathroom is also ridiculously heavy, and has definitely hurt my arm.  Eight hours of sleep is not enough for a person with a dominant inner world.  I will sleep for eight hours and wake up feeling drained.  My throat is dry and scratchy all the time.  I actually was diagnosed with adult allergies.  I am not one to question doctors too often, but the diagnosis I was given was not correct.  I think my issue is that my voice and throat gets tired of yelling at people because no one understands me when I speak at a regular.  This constant yelling has caused me to have throat issues.  The lack of sleep probably contributes to my sinus problems.  Eight hours of sleep is not enough recharge my body.  The customers steal every ounce of energy that I have.  This means that I have no energy to engage in any extracurricular activities on the weekends.  The weekends are spent sleeping or listening to music in order to build up the strength for the following work week.  When I finally took a vacation, my health improved in just three days.  I no longer had pain in my back or arm.  My mental energy could be used in a productive manner.  I did not feel like I had to rest up for two days in a row just to be able to survive.  One might say that almost every person does not like his or her job.  While that may be true, not everyone has a job that impacts their well-being so much that there they cannot do anything else.  These issues go beyond not liking my job.  It is destroying my essence as a living creature.  A highly sensitive introvert like me needs a career path that meets my need to create while also allowing me time alone to recharge my energy.  Everyone has to face obstacles that go against who he or she is as a person at some point, but no one should be forced to act the opposite way to how he or she actually is every day of his or her life.  I need a career that allows me to put my best foot forward.  Anyone can do anything for a short amount of time and be fine.  For example, suppose that someone is great at working with appliances and electronics obtains a job as an editor for a publishing company.  He or she might be good at the job for a while, but his or her extraverted needs will not be met sitting inside a room at a computer not talking to people on a regular basis.  This person will eventually feel as though he or she is wasting his or her talent editing papers.  This individual would most likely feel more actualized working as a plumber instead of remaining locked in one room all day long.  Who you are will eventually catch up with you.  A person has to choose what is important to him or her.  Should a person sacrifice his or her health for financial security, or should he or she feel good about him or herself from a mental perspective and sacrifice material perks to feel healthy on the inside? 

The answer is pretty clear in my situation.  I need to leave the extraverted life of the call center in order for my health to improve.  I will have to worry about money for a while, but in the end, I will feel better about my mental state.  I will be able to be creative and feel as though I have enough energy to finish things to completion.  There will be some tough times ahead, but I have weathered through the employment storm before, and I can do it again.  I need to find my purpose in life.  The universe is not going to put me through sixteen surgeries and a gender transformation just so I can sit inside of a call center and not be able to interact with others as an authentic human being.      

The Challenge that is Forgiveness

Everyone goes through tough situations in their lives.  During these trying times, a person can be in a relationship with someone else that is not fulfilling whatsoever.  The relationship continues to exist because both parties feel that they need one another for a specific reason.  Neither party will realize that he or she could have existed without the other until a major event drives them apart.  I had this type of relationship with my father.

The relationship my father and I shared was based mostly around material goods.  I have a condition known as Cerebral Palsy.  This makes it difficult for me to traverse any kind of incline.  At the time, I thought I was unable to obtain my own place.  I worked ten to twelve hours a day at my call center job.  I remained ignorant to every other aspect of my life.  I did not really notice my father’s health like I should have.  I was too busy trying to climb the corporate ladder to really focus on my father’s health.  He took thirteen pills twice a day.  Most of the pills were for difficulties with the heart.  My father had quadruple bypass surgery in May of 2004.  He wanted to get fried chicken his first day home from the hospital.

I did not do a lot at home.  The house was always a mess because my father never put anything away.  I was too drained from arguing with people about their bills to even give a crap.  I did clean my father’s messes up quite a few times, but then I got tired of it.  He used to yell at me for taking out the trash because it was “easier” for him to do it.  The only problem is that my father never did it.  The trash bins would overflow, and he would let everything sit.

My father became a bump on a log outside of driving me back and forth to work every day.  He would just sit on the couch and watch TV without moving.  His fingers on one hand had turned brown due to lack of bathing.  I told him to go wash his hands while we were at a local diner.  He dunked his hands in a cup of water a couple times and said “there, I washed my hands.”  My father then laughed about as if it was funny that he was so disgusting.  I wanted to punch my father in face so bad that day.  I could not take it anymore.  He had not taken a shower in months.  I am surprised my father made it as long as he did.  If that were me, I would have died a long time ago. 

 The day before my father went to the hospital, I told him that it was his choice whether or not he wanted to live or die.  He went to his primary doctor the next day, and the doctor told him to go to the hospital.  I got out of work around 5:30 P.M.  I waited for an hour for my father to pick me up.  I eventually decided to take a taxi home.  When I got to the house, I did not see the HHR in the driveway.  I did not know what had happened.  I waited around for a few hours until it got dark.  I called my supervisor on the phone, and he told me to call the police.  The police came and took down all the information for my father.  They even went to the local diner to look for him.  The police did not get anywhere and decided to call around to local hospitals.  My father was found at Northwest Hospital in Randallstown.  It turned out that he told the head nurse not to tell anyone where he was located.   This kind of thinking made no sense.

After my father passed away, I found out that he canceled his death benefits with Verizon.  In other words, there was no money to pay off the loans that my father borrowed against the house after the original mortgage was all squared away.  Who would actually do that though?  Why couldn’t my father just tell me that he did not have the money to send me to college?  I could have studied philosophy on my own if I was still interested in the subject matter.  I knew that there were loans against the house, but I did not realize that the benefits policy was canceled.  My father and I got into a fight one time, and he threatened to cancel out the policy, but I never thought anyone would be dumb enough to actually do it.

It has been almost ten months since my father went to the hospital. I will never understand why my father could not trust me enough to tell me the truth.  Then again, it is not as if I made a serious effort to know certain things when he was alive.  I was too absorbed the hive mindset from my job to even think about my own personal needs let alone someone else’s.  I work on letting the past go every day.  Some days are more difficult than others.  I will eventually forgive my father completely.  I will also never forget the lessons I learned from the relationship that I had with him.      

         

Changing One's Perception Through Dream Analysis

Dreams can be quite a mystery when it comes to interpreting them.  Each person dreams every night during sleep.  Most view dreams as nothing more than a fantasy world that one goes to at night.  This philosophy could not be further from the truth.  Understanding one’s dreams can give a person more insight into him or herself than he or she ever imagined.  The representations within the dream world might give information about where one should go in life. 

The first step to understanding one’s dreams is to keep a dream diary.  The dreamer needs to write in the diary every day right after he or she wakes up in the morning.  The more time one wastes before writing the dream down, the less he or she will remember about what events took place while asleep.  Dream image retention will increase the more dreams are written down.  Dreams will become more vivid the more one pays attention to them.  The dreamer might feel as if he or she is traveling through time.  There will be a feeling as if an individual has been somewhere during the night upon waking.  An individual might remember what was said in a dream or at least remember that someone was speaking in what seemed to be a foreign language. 

The second step to remembering dreams is applying knowledge when attempting to interpret dreams.   This can be a little more difficult than it seems.  Dream books or websites can help the dreamer in some cases, but the majority of the representations in dreams can only be deciphered by the one having them.  In other words, an individual has to apply what they already know about him or herself to get the most out of the dream representations.  For example, I recently had a dream about moving to the countryside with a friend.  This friend then got angry because I went to a video game store.  For whatever reason, my brother and father were at the store as well.  I picked up Mortal Kombat Trilogy on the original PlayStation.  The game was in one of those double CD cases.  The front of the case had a deep crack in it, but the spine was still intact.  I also picked up some collection that contained Resident Evil 4, 5, and 6 on it.  I realize that I forgot my money, so I asked my father to pay for everything.  The interpretation of the dream is mirroring what is happening in my waking life.  I am trying to move out of a house that I have been living in for thirty one years.  I am also trying to look for opportunities beyond the call center job that I had for three years.  Old memories and thought patterns still pop in my head from time to time.  I used to play video games a lot when I was younger.  I was known as the expert at Mortal Kombat in my circle of friends.  The games that I purchased represent old memories or baggage that I have been hanging onto for a while.  The games on the shelves represent different thoughts and memories.  The double CD case could represent a stronger memory from my past than the Resident Evil collection.  The deep crack in the case probably indicates the age of the memory.  The Mortal Kombat franchise has always resonated with me since I was eight years old.  I also was not financially independent at a younger age.  My father paid for everything.  The themes of this dream as a whole are new opportunities and old beliefs.  I am trying to rid myself of the old in order to make room for the new.

Dream interpretation in a nutshell is repetition combined with applied knowledge.  One needs to keep writing out his or her dreams in order to become a good interpreter.  The dreamer needs to understand him or herself beyond a surface level in order to potentially understand the representations within dreams.  Once one has put forth a good amount of effort in following the steps to interpreting dreams, then his or her life will most likely get better as a result.  The dreamer will be able to find out things about him or herself that he or she never considered previously.  This change in one’s perception will eventually put the individual on the correct life path.        

A Helping Hand During Difficult Times

Life can sometimes throw people a curve ball that they do not see coming.  When this change occurs, everyone scrambles to put the pieces of their lives back together the way that they were before the change occurred.  The only problem with this is no one is supposed to go backwards in time.  Big changes happen in life that the individual can live more authentically than he or she has in the past.  Everyone is going to need advice on what to do during the transition from the old lifestyle to the new one.  Most people do not realize that they can receive guidance through numbers. 

The numbers 111, 222, and 333, are the most common numbers that people start seeing once they come to realization that there something beyond the physical realm exists.  There is usually a positive meaning associated with each of the numbers.  The number 111 can mean that one is synced up with the universe, or the individual is having are good ones.  He or she should explore those ideas further.  The number 222 can mean that one is living a balanced life.  This person is most likely cooperating well with others.  It can also indicate that an individual has a lot of faith in what in current events that are taking place.  The number 333 is associated higher spirits that might be surrounding the individual.  They could be sending love, encouragement, or new ideas.  Some claim that these higher spirits are angels. 

These numbers can also have a slightly different meaning than what has been stated above.  If an individual is falling away from the path that he or she is supposed to follow, these numbers can be seen as a warning to get back on track.  The number 111 can be a wakeup call to pay attention what is happening in one’s life.  The number 222 could indicate that one needs to have faith in the opportunities that are presenting themselves.  It could also mean that one needs to have more faith in him or herself.  The number 333 might be telling an individual try to balance the physical, mental, and spiritual areas of his or her life more effectively. 

Signs can come in any form.  They not have to be numerical at all.  A good way to see signs of what to do next is through every day conversations with other people.  One might disagree with the opinions of others, but pay attention to the topics that are discussed more than what positions the individuals hold.  These discussions will give a person an idea of where he or she should focus his or her attention to next. 

Everyone always has a helping hand available even when no one else is around to be of assistance from a physical standpoint.  All is that is required is for one to pay attention to his or her surroundings.  If one can look for meanings beyond his or her personal intentions, then bog transitions in life will not feel so terrible.  If an individual can stop forcing his or her agenda, then the right answer on how to proceed will eventually make itself known. 

Using your Talents to Shape the Life you Deserve

Changes in life sometimes come at a blink of an eye.   An individual is sitting at a dead end job thinking that life will not get any better one day only to wake up and figure out what he or she is supposed to be doing with him or herself the next.  One could become spiritual for what seems like no reason at all.  This happened to me, and I could not be happier with the changes that are occurring. 

I first got into helping others because I saw a lack of understanding through everyday conversations that I would have with others.  I noticed that the average Joe tends to mix up Cerebral Palsy and Multiple Sclerosis.  One is a disease while the other is a birth defect.  A disease impacts the body over time while the other impacts the body one time during birth.  In other words, a birth defect will cause a person’s body to degenerate over the course of his or her life.  There are different degrees as to how a birth defect affects the individual, but it will not worsen over time. 

I have had a disability for thirty one years.  I know all the ins and outs of Cerebral Palsy.  The major conclusion that I came to during a crossroads in my life is that a disability is actually a gift in disguise.  When one follows his or her passion, then the obstacles he or she faces begin to disappear.  In other words, once an individual engages in what he or she is meant to do, then negative situations become the exception instead of the rule.  Each person living on this planet is a teacher of some sort.  Everyone is an expert in something whether they believe it or not. 

The only reason why a disability is seen as just that is because of the way society is structured at the moment.  The majority of society sees those with disabilities as people who are disadvantaged who need to be brought up to speed with “everyone else.”  This is not the case at all.  Once the disabled as well as the rest of society takes their power back, then no one will need to be brought up to speed.  The disability that one has will then be transformed into a gift that can be used to help him or herself as well as others.  Once the gift is used for its proper purpose then all of the challenges surrounding it will vanish.  No one will need to receive assistance from the government.  Everyone will be in charge of themselves and live with everything they need in order to survive on a daily basis. 

The main issue that hold people back from achieving their dreams and a stable living environment is fear.  When an individual focuses on fear more than his or her creative pursuits, then that is when negative things start happening on a regular basis.  When people think of someone who works as an artist, they always put the word “starving” in front of the noun.  The fact of the matter is that the opposite is true.  When one focuses on what he or she was meant to do, material goods and financial stability start to appear out of the woodwork.  The consensus believes that a salary position in a company with a 401k is the best thing since sliced bread.  In actuality, what a salary position does is lock a person into receiving a minimal amount of pay for an amount of work that is most likely worth four or five times as much. 

I chose writing as way to share my knowledge with others.  I have always been one to go into detail about absolutely everything.  I would always tell everyone to explain the whole thing whenever they would bring a topic  up.  Instead of just posting comments online, I figured that I would actually try to use my gift to help express myself more effectively as well as inspire other people.  This is what my purpose is in this lifetime.  I am supposed to take the knowledge I have gained, and use it to assist others in bringing out their best qualities.  As long as I follow this path, then I will always have what I need in order to live a happy life.

Everyone is born with a gift that they must share with the rest of the world.  This gift will tie into the life purpose of each individual on the planet.  Once people start following their own path, their gifts will become more accessible than ever before.  Everyone will then live in abundance and the lack of what is required to function on a daily basis will not be an issue any longer.   

Becoming a Victim to your own Emotions

Emotions can sometimes make people do crazy things.  This is especially true when one is a seemingly bad situation.  I became a victim to my negative emotions this passed Friday, and the results were not good at all. 

I have been trying to find a new place to live for about nine months.  The property I live in now is up for short sale and could face foreclosure at the end of April of this year.  I have a condition known as Cerebral Palsy, so it is hard for me to find a place that is in a fair price range and will suit my needs.  I cannot do steps that well, and this would make doing a simple task such as washing clothes almost impossible without a washer and dryer close by. 

I finally found a place in the same town where I live currently.  The apartment was all on one level and included a washer and dryer all for the price of $1169.  That amount would have been difficult for me to afford, but it was the only game in town.  I knew I had to be out my current place as soon as possible.  I decided to go up to the complex and see if there were any addition details regarding the apartment. 

I tried calling for an Uber, and the first person that was supposed to pick me up cancelled the ride.  I should have taken this as a sign that none of what I was about to do would lead to a good ending, but I was too “determined” to listen to the signs that surrounded me.  I called another Uber driver and went down to the apartment complex.  When I arrived, I walked up and down the parking lot trying to find a ramp to get up on the sidewalk.  This was the second sign that the apartment was not the right place for me.  ”Coincidentally,” someone from the leasing office came out of the building and helped me up the sidewalk as well as the steps to the front door. The personnel inside ran the necessary processes to get me approved for the apartment.  They wanted my social security card due to an issue that was present in their system.  One of the ladies at the office offered to drive me home so that I would save on the cost of calling for an Uber ride.  I gave her my social security card, and she told me that she would back in just a little while after everything had been completed.  I should not have loaned my card to someone I barely knew, but there were not a whole lot of options available, so I decided to take a risk.  I knew I had to get out of my old place before the bank forces me to leave.  I got a call an hour later from the complex asking if I had any other identification outside of my state ID.  I told the person who called that I changed my name almost two years ago.  She wanted me to bring up my name change papers.  I waited two more hours for the woman that drove me home to bring back my card.  She never did come back to my place to explain what was happening.  I decided to cancel everything out then and there.  I called the leasing office back to tell them not to give me the place due to all the issues it was having with my info.  There was obviously something wrong somewhere along the line.  The person I spoke to on the phone said that the office put my social security card in the mail.  I got mad because no one called me to explain the change in plan. 

I took another Uber ride up to the apartment complex.  The Uber driver ended up heading down the wrong road, and I spent more money for that particular ride.  I went up to the office before the mail was taken out.  I got my card back and called for another Uber ride.  The rate for this ride was 1.2 times the normal rate due to a shortage of drivers during hectic business hours.  I was only going down the street to my favorite restaurant.  It was only about a mile down the street, and I ended up paying $7.20 for that ride.  I had to get out of the complex parking lot because the rental office was closing in an hour.  I did not have a choice in the matter.  I did not have the opportunity to wait for until the regular rate was available again.    

If I would have just sat home that day, then all of the issues I faced could have been avoided.  I would not have learned about the red flag on my name, so I guess I learned something from the experience after all.  I wasted a lot time, energy and money when everything would have remained fine if I would have paid attention to the first two signs that told me to avoid the complex altogether. 

I went out to the diner again last night, and I saw a sign for a disability expo regarding independent living in an area that is close to me.  The sign was posted at the end of the road just before going on entrance ramp to the highway.  I then saw a commercial for the expo on Youtube before watching a video later on that night.  This could be a sign that I might find what I am looking for at this expo. 

I learned a valuable lesson this passed Friday.  I cannot let my feelings about a current situation control the actions that I take.  If something is not right, then it is not right regardless of what other external circumstances are happening around me.  I tried my best, and that is what counts.  If the worst ends up happening, then I will just have to deal with it when the time comes.  I tried my best to do things in a practical manner, and I failed.  I can only take things one day at a time.  I need to let situations come to end naturally instead of using force.  There is obviously something bigger taking place outside of this whole ordeal with housing.  All I can do is make better choices in the future.

Eating Healthier from the Inside Out

Eating healthy can be a challenge for many people.  A lot of people have lost touch with their bodies due to the fast paced nature of our environment in the twenty first century.  People are always in a rush to cram as many activities as they can in one day.  Most individuals do not take time to slow down to listen to what their body is telling them.  I ate what I wanted all the time without caring what I did to my body.  Once I started feeling sick on regular basis is when I finally started listening to my body a lot more. 

The first thing I stopped eating when moving forward with my diet change is pepperoni.  I noticed that I would cough up a huge amount of phlegm every time I would eat pizza. I then decided to try cutting out pepperoni to see what would happen.  The next time I went for a pizza, I ordered one with plain cheese.  After I finished eating, I noticed a huge contrast of how I felt this time around compared to all the other times I had pizza with pepperoni.  I no longer coughed up any phlegm.  The only thing I need to work on now is not eating pizza in large quantities. 

Beef was a food that I did not think was half bad the majority of the time.  I stopped eating beef around six months ago due to how heavy it made me feel.  Beef also irritated my stomach to a degree as well.  I thought at first that maybe it was just me, but this was not the case.  Every time I would eat beef, my stomach would end up feeling terrible later on in the day.  I had to give beef up because my body just could not take it anymore.  I came to realize that I did not miss the food itself all that much.  I guess that beef never really was a major part of my to begin with. 

The key to realizing which foods are good for one’s health, and which ones are not so great is by listening to the body in complete silence.  One will be able to hear his or her stomach trying to process the food that was eaten a few hours earlier.  If the individual hears the stomach making all kinds of noises, then this most likely means that the food eaten earlier is something that it does not like. 

Another thing a person can do to improve his or her diet is to avoid eating to the point where another bite cannot be taken.  When an individual feels “full,” then that is an indicator of being overstuffed.  People can eat without feeling full and still have obtained enough nourishment.  No one needs to stuff themselves to where they are forced to stop eating.  The stomach will thank the individual for eating less later on in the day. 

I am not trying to tell anyone what to eat.  I am just trying to give information about how to tell which foods are good for an individual based on his or her own body.  No one will know which food is right until the impact on the stomach is felt.           

Dealing with big Changes in Life

A spiritual awakening can be a rather difficult process to go through for many people.  Big changes in one’s life seem like they come out of nowhere.  The individual does not know where to turn because he or she was never aware that a process such as this actually existed.  Here are a few things to consider during one’s awakening. 

Everyone’s first instinct is to fight the changes that are occurring so that he or she can keep the status quo.  The problem with this is that sometimes the life that one is living is not that great to begin with.  I was working at call center that only allowed me to use the bathroom twice a day.  I worked several hours of mandatory over time, and I never saw a penny of that money due to being single.  The Internal Revenue Service saw the majority of that money.  I got sick left and right for five months straight.  I eventually stopped eating because I was too drained from my job to even bother to make food for myself.  This kind of lifestyle is not good for anyone whatsoever.  My father’s health was quite poor.  He pretty much became a bump on a log at the beginning of last year.  Leaving my job due to my father being in the hospital was the best thing that has ever happened to me.  It taught me how to take action in regards to my life.  I was never a flaky individual to begin with, but I always felt that I was doing the right thing by letting people have things their way.  I later learned that this was not a wise decision. 

One might feel the desire to get into some esoteric topics when an awakening begins.  I started getting into the field of astrology in February of last year after the huge snow storm that hit the central part of Maryland.  I do not know where I got the idea to study astrology.  It probably came as a result of my dissatisfaction with the material world after my employer discriminated against me during storm duty.  I am very grateful that I took the time to learn more about astrology.  I found out that there is a lot of truth in this subject matter.  I eventually found out that astrology was based around another body of knowledge known as numerology.  I began to experience synchronicities shortly after I discovered field of study. 

One might notice that he or she does not fit his or her old life any longer.  I stopped associated with friends at work and others online who focused on negative things.  I decided to seek people and groups that concentrated on bringing positive experiences to the world.  This is when I began to find out about things such as the law of attraction as well as the law of abundance.  Things that are similar to one another will attract each other.  As long as an individual lives a life based around authenticity, then he or she will most likely do well in life.  Positive thoughts attract positive events.  Negative thoughts attract negative events.  The only trick to these two laws is that one does not want to repress negative emotions by trying to focus on the positive all the time.  In other words, a person should not put up a positive front when he or she is feeling terrible inside.  The negative emotions should be dealt with in a healthy way so the individual can then feel positive in an authentic matter.  This is why the universe has a buffer zone in between thinking about what one wants and actually receiving it.  The universe wants to make sure that a person is sure about what he or she desires before this thought manifests in a tangible form.   

These are the three major changes that an individual might experience when he or she goes through a spiritual awakening.  Many people will go through this shift.  Awakenings seem scary at first, but, there is a comfort in knowing that one does not have to worry about things anywhere near as much as he or she used to once all of the old is washed away. 

A Different Perspective on Living Life

Everyone goes through major changes at some point in his or life.  These changes can bring extreme challenges when they first begin.  The difficulty in facing the challenges is not always a material one.  Sometimes the challenges reside in a new way of living that one might not think is possible.  The majority of people on this planet live according to immediate desires.  They want to receive instant gratification for their actions.  This is known as personality centered living.  Life is lived through the ego alone.  There is another way of living that is much for fulfilling.  This type of living is known as soul centered living. 

Many people tend to put a lot of energy into things that do not please them.  This can be anything at all.  One might hate his or her living arrangement or job.  The only thing most people do not realize is that each of us has the power to change anything in our lives.  Instead of focusing a lot of energy on fear and what one does not want to happen, one can put their attention on positive things and what he or she does want to happen.  Focusing on something that one does want will change the way events play out in his or her life.  In other words, everybody has the ability to create our own reality. 

The first step to changing one’s reality is for the individual to change his or her thoughts.  Thoughts are a form of energy.  The more we focus on a given idea, the more energy it has to take shape.  If a person continues to focus on what he or she does not desire, then that thought form will have huge amount of energy to come to fruition.  The more an individual focuses on what he or she does want, then that particular thought form will eventually have enough energy to manifest in the physical world.  The more that one lives in accordance with what he or she enjoys, then the easier it will be to live a soul centered life.  One will be able find his or her life purpose a lot faster, then if he or she focuses on fear. 

The negative side of the ego is based off of fear.  This negative attribute tends drive people to make bad choices that might sound smart at first glance.  All the energy put into that one decision causes other things that are similar in nature to attract to the individual.  There is no reason for the ego to try to keep everything the exact same all the time when a person is living his or her life purpose.  The ego is free to focus on maintaining a positive outlook.  The positive energy will then start attracting more positive experiences.  The individual will not need to worry about how he or she stacks up against everyone else.  The only thing that the individual will need to pay attention to is his or her main goal for this lifetime.  Everything else does not matter anymore.  Will there still be difficult times in life?  The answer is going to be yes.  If one is living a soul centered existence, then he or she will eventually learn how to make the best out of a situation that is not so pleasant. 

At the end of the day, everyone has the free will to choose how he or she wants to live.  One can choose to continue living in a fear based manner.  As stated earlier, this will lead towards attracting things that might not be so great.  If an individual chooses to live with a more optimistic outlook, then positive experiences will not be too far away.  A person can either live for others by competing for the good graces of someone else that will decide the worth of the individual, or he or she can live for his or herself by deciding his or her own worth.  There is only one real question in life.  Do I value the voices of others more than I value my own inner voice?  Once this choice is made, then every other decision stems from the answer.