Living by Your own Rules

There seems to be a lot of confusion around the meaning of spirituality in recent times.  When most people hear the word spirituality, they automatically assume that it has something to do with organized religion or a creed of some sort.  Spirituality does not have to be associated with rules of any kind whatsoever.  Spirituality is the essence that causes the physical body to take action.  The only reason anyone takes action with his or her body is due to ideas or thoughts that are expressed within the mind.  If spirituality had to be tied down to something specific, then it most likely would be synonymous with thought forms. 

When an individual engages in a soul centered existence, all this means is that he or she living according to his or her own thoughts while avoiding the directives that society tries to impose on him or her.  When one functions in this way, he or she tends to worry a lot less about absolutely everything.  The individual begins to enjoy life a lot more than a person who succumbs to the pressure of the expectations set forth by those who want to uphold the status quo.  When one focuses on what he or she loves to do, life becomes a lot simpler and less stressful.  Negative emotions will only lead to a person making a decision using clouded judgment.  The consequence for this judgment call will attract more negativity towards the individual.  Positive emotions lead to clearer judgment calls that will attract more positivity in the future. 

As long as an individual follows his or her own path in life, then he or she cannot lose.  No one needs a list of rules in order to guide him or her to the right decision because all of the major negative actions can be felt using intuition.  When an individual is about to kill someone else, he or she will surely waver back and forth about performing the act.  His or her stomach will start hurting and possibly tense up.  When one is spiritual, he or she begins to listen to his or her intuition about what actions need to be taken in order to be happy.  There is no rulebook regarding spirituality.  As long as one lives authentically then he or she is living a spiritual life.    

Dealing with big Changes in Life

A spiritual awakening can be a rather difficult process to go through for many people.  Big changes in one’s life seem like they come out of nowhere.  The individual does not know where to turn because he or she was never aware that a process such as this actually existed.  Here are a few things to consider during one’s awakening. 

Everyone’s first instinct is to fight the changes that are occurring so that he or she can keep the status quo.  The problem with this is that sometimes the life that one is living is not that great to begin with.  I was working at call center that only allowed me to use the bathroom twice a day.  I worked several hours of mandatory over time, and I never saw a penny of that money due to being single.  The Internal Revenue Service saw the majority of that money.  I got sick left and right for five months straight.  I eventually stopped eating because I was too drained from my job to even bother to make food for myself.  This kind of lifestyle is not good for anyone whatsoever.  My father’s health was quite poor.  He pretty much became a bump on a log at the beginning of last year.  Leaving my job due to my father being in the hospital was the best thing that has ever happened to me.  It taught me how to take action in regards to my life.  I was never a flaky individual to begin with, but I always felt that I was doing the right thing by letting people have things their way.  I later learned that this was not a wise decision. 

One might feel the desire to get into some esoteric topics when an awakening begins.  I started getting into the field of astrology in February of last year after the huge snow storm that hit the central part of Maryland.  I do not know where I got the idea to study astrology.  It probably came as a result of my dissatisfaction with the material world after my employer discriminated against me during storm duty.  I am very grateful that I took the time to learn more about astrology.  I found out that there is a lot of truth in this subject matter.  I eventually found out that astrology was based around another body of knowledge known as numerology.  I began to experience synchronicities shortly after I discovered field of study. 

One might notice that he or she does not fit his or her old life any longer.  I stopped associated with friends at work and others online who focused on negative things.  I decided to seek people and groups that concentrated on bringing positive experiences to the world.  This is when I began to find out about things such as the law of attraction as well as the law of abundance.  Things that are similar to one another will attract each other.  As long as an individual lives a life based around authenticity, then he or she will most likely do well in life.  Positive thoughts attract positive events.  Negative thoughts attract negative events.  The only trick to these two laws is that one does not want to repress negative emotions by trying to focus on the positive all the time.  In other words, a person should not put up a positive front when he or she is feeling terrible inside.  The negative emotions should be dealt with in a healthy way so the individual can then feel positive in an authentic matter.  This is why the universe has a buffer zone in between thinking about what one wants and actually receiving it.  The universe wants to make sure that a person is sure about what he or she desires before this thought manifests in a tangible form.   

These are the three major changes that an individual might experience when he or she goes through a spiritual awakening.  Many people will go through this shift.  Awakenings seem scary at first, but, there is a comfort in knowing that one does not have to worry about things anywhere near as much as he or she used to once all of the old is washed away. 

A Different Perspective on Living Life

Everyone goes through major changes at some point in his or life.  These changes can bring extreme challenges when they first begin.  The difficulty in facing the challenges is not always a material one.  Sometimes the challenges reside in a new way of living that one might not think is possible.  The majority of people on this planet live according to immediate desires.  They want to receive instant gratification for their actions.  This is known as personality centered living.  Life is lived through the ego alone.  There is another way of living that is much for fulfilling.  This type of living is known as soul centered living. 

Many people tend to put a lot of energy into things that do not please them.  This can be anything at all.  One might hate his or her living arrangement or job.  The only thing most people do not realize is that each of us has the power to change anything in our lives.  Instead of focusing a lot of energy on fear and what one does not want to happen, one can put their attention on positive things and what he or she does want to happen.  Focusing on something that one does want will change the way events play out in his or her life.  In other words, everybody has the ability to create our own reality. 

The first step to changing one’s reality is for the individual to change his or her thoughts.  Thoughts are a form of energy.  The more we focus on a given idea, the more energy it has to take shape.  If a person continues to focus on what he or she does not desire, then that thought form will have huge amount of energy to come to fruition.  The more an individual focuses on what he or she does want, then that particular thought form will eventually have enough energy to manifest in the physical world.  The more that one lives in accordance with what he or she enjoys, then the easier it will be to live a soul centered life.  One will be able find his or her life purpose a lot faster, then if he or she focuses on fear. 

The negative side of the ego is based off of fear.  This negative attribute tends drive people to make bad choices that might sound smart at first glance.  All the energy put into that one decision causes other things that are similar in nature to attract to the individual.  There is no reason for the ego to try to keep everything the exact same all the time when a person is living his or her life purpose.  The ego is free to focus on maintaining a positive outlook.  The positive energy will then start attracting more positive experiences.  The individual will not need to worry about how he or she stacks up against everyone else.  The only thing that the individual will need to pay attention to is his or her main goal for this lifetime.  Everything else does not matter anymore.  Will there still be difficult times in life?  The answer is going to be yes.  If one is living a soul centered existence, then he or she will eventually learn how to make the best out of a situation that is not so pleasant. 

At the end of the day, everyone has the free will to choose how he or she wants to live.  One can choose to continue living in a fear based manner.  As stated earlier, this will lead towards attracting things that might not be so great.  If an individual chooses to live with a more optimistic outlook, then positive experiences will not be too far away.  A person can either live for others by competing for the good graces of someone else that will decide the worth of the individual, or he or she can live for his or herself by deciding his or her own worth.  There is only one real question in life.  Do I value the voices of others more than I value my own inner voice?  Once this choice is made, then every other decision stems from the answer. 

Fragile Ego

The ego can be a very illusive part of an individual.  People have a tendency to speak of another person’s ego in the arrogant sense of the word.  The particular individual thinks too highly of him or herself.  The ego can also lean towards the other extreme known as self-loathing.  This is when the particular individual thinks poorly of him or herself.  There is not a whole lot of discussion about people who take on the ego of others.

I was born with a condition known as Cerebral Palsy.  Because of this birth defect, my mother did not think I could do anything by myself.  I did not learn how to wipe my butt while going number two until the age of ten.  I basically saw myself the way my mother saw me.  I thought I could not do much of anything without any type of assistance.  My mother was always too afraid to let me do anything by myself, and I ended up absorbing this perception as my ego.  I did not start trying new things on my own until she passed away. 

My father valued both money and career.  He did not put much value in anything else besides those two things.  I ended up getting a job at my local utility company as a call center representative.  This company held the same values as my father.  I had to answer calls as fast as possible so that the statistics for the day would remain positive.  I ate unhealthy foods and stressed myself out when I failed to meet monthly quotas.  Once I started to have thoughts about doing others things besides working in a call center, I thought I was going insane, and I eventually sought out therapy.  The reason I had difficulty accepting my own thoughts was because I absorbed the perception of my father as well as the utility company. 

I am now starting to develop an authentic sense of self for the first time in my life.  I am quite a peaceful individual.  I do not worry about things nearly as much now that I have stopped trying to live up to other people’s expectations.  My main goal right now is to continue developing my own sense of self.  I am tired of absorbing the perceptions of others.  I want to have my own perception of who I am as a person .  I already know how everyone else sees me as well as the world.  Now it is time for me to ask how I see myself as well and the world. 

I guess the ego really is the most fragile aspect of a human being.  If the ego can change itself without much effort in order to fit in better with everyone else, then clearly the ego is supposed to be used to as a tool to fulfill of something higher than itself.  My ultimate task in this incarnation is to live a more soul centered existence.  As long as I follow my path, then I will not have a reason to absorb energies from anything else.      

Developing Intuition

Intuition can be a rather difficult subject to approach.  The word means different things depending upon the context in which the word is used.  During the Modern period, the philosopher Kant used the word to mean perception of the physical world.  During the present time, intuition means how natural something feels.  If the control layout in a particular video game is not similar to all the other titles in a given genre, then people complain that the controls are not intuitive.  Intuition can also indicate that person picks up on subtleties in his or her environment.  The word is sometimes used when the topic of mysticism is brought up.  Someone can have a knowing that goes beyond the physical senses.  Based on a recent experience I have come to the conclusion that Intuition can also include blind knowledge that an individual has no clue about whatsoever.   

I went to a local pizza place called J and P Pizza.  I sat down at a booth across from where I normally sit.  There was a group of about seven people or so.  After consuming my usual order of one medium cheese pizza and a cherry coke, I accidentally hit the alarm button on my phone.  This option gave me the time of a few different countries.  I decided it would be fun to find the time difference between the United States and Australia.  There was a fifteen and a half hour time difference between the two places.  Thirty seconds after I found the time difference, I hear one of the men in the group say something about Australia.  I am not sure what the details were, but that seemed rather odd.  My thoughts then drifted to what I needed to get done before the day was over.  I also thought about why I seemed to know the time even without looking at a clock too often.  A minute after I began thinking about these ideas, I hear one of the women in the group talk about her daily morning and evening routines. 

About ten minutes later, a couple sits down in a booth that is close to mine.  My mind starts to drift to the financial situation that is happening in my life at the present moment.  The couple then starts talking about betting money on football teams.  Thoughts about health insurance pop into my head.  I was wondering if changing carriers would be an option so early in the year.  The couple in the booth then starts talking about doctor appointments and coughing quite a lot.  The woman also spoke about going to a funeral recently.  These people kept going on and on about sickness.  I began to feel depressed about my life.  I do not why my thoughts turned negative.  I can only assume that I picked up some of the negative energy from the couple in the booth.

One might argue that all of these events are just my subconscious honing in on things that are of value to me.  This is not the case at all.  Australia has no meaning in my life at all.  I am sure that it is a fine continent, but I do not have any relationship with it.  I do not worry about doctor appointments or getting sick too often.  I do not worry about financial matters every day of my life.  There would be no reason for my subconscious to pick any of these things out through the conversations of other people. 

The only other explanation is that I have an underdeveloped sixth sense.  Everyone has the capability of enhancing themselves in this manner.  What form the sixth sense takes all depends on what the individual values the most.  The mind is most valuable thing that I have.  Since I hold this belief, it is no wonder that my sixth sense came out as mental energy.  If I could figure out a way to develop my sixth sense further, maybe I could this ability to help others.  I do not know the exact form my sixth sense would take. 

One thing that I can state for certain is that I have never experienced anything like this before in all of my life.  I know myself pretty well. I have never been one to stretch the truth by any means.  I was never a person with a heavy interest in the occult until about ten months ago.  I would know whether or not my experiences were just a product of my imagination.  My intuition is real, and I will learn to trust what it tells me one day.  Once I am able to master this skill, then I will able to assist others that have fallen on hard times.           

A Letter to my Father

(My father and I had a difficult relationship.  This letter might seem a bit harsh, but I had to let go of some difficult emotions.  I appreciate everyone that has supported me in my journey to become a light worker.  Have an awesome year)

Dear Father:

I hope your soul is doing well after the painful death that you endured.  I wish the best of luck in your next incarnation.  I would try to work on developing values outside materialism and career.  Everyone lives a physical existence on this planet, and we all need physical things in order to sustain ourselves.  You took that idea a bit too far during your last life here on earth.  Your identity was tied to working and making money.  You never really took time to take care of your health.  You also never took too much of an interest in what other people were doing around you.  When no one else would take interest in the things you were doing, then you got an attitude with him or her. 

Things were quite turbulent after you passed away in July.  I am going to lose the house.  I do not know where I will be living as of yet, but I am sure that I will manage something.  I put a few of the bills in my name.  I have been paying BGE, Verizon Wireless, and Verizon Fios for about five months now.  My credit information is still rather lackluster.  This is one of the main reasons that I cannot rent an apartment or room somewhere.  I should not feel too bad though because I do not have any outstanding debts in my name.  One Main Financial and your Elan credit card are paid off in full.  I do not understand why you ran up a three thousand dollar bill on the card.  Why did you have such a huge ego?  You should have asked for help with all of your issues.  The only reason why you probably tried to control everything at home all the time was because you felt like you had no power when it came to your career.

I have moved on with my life.  I have realized that I have the potential to become an occultist, a writer, and a healer.  You probably disapprove of the choices that I have made with my life.  The only thing that you fail to realize is that some people value things other than money.  I let your influence take over my own personality.  The same can be said for BGE as well.  Both of you are similar to one another.  You both valued financial gain above all else.  You both had terrible taste in nutrition.  I still do not know how I ate pizza from Pizza Hut.  I guess I should not be too hard on myself because I did not know any better at the time.  My life feels awesome without either of you in it whatsoever. 

This letter is not about trashing the way you lived.  When you actually responded to things like an ordinary person, then things did not seem half bad.  You were always an awesome person when we went out to eat to places such as The Reisterstown Family Diner, J and P Pizza, and Ledo Pizza.  We had a lot of laughs when we went out.  It is too bad that the joy had to stop once we came home.

My only other point of contention is that you always defended your negative attributes by using me as an excuse.  You always said that I should be thankful that you are around due to my inability to drive.  You cannot use being a “chauffeur” as a reason that I should have overlooked your shortcomings.  I was thankful that you took the time to help me to get the work as well as take me to doctor appointments.  You still had faults of your own that you could have worked on to better yourself.  I was never mad because you were not a perfect person.  I was angry because you never tried to improve yourself one bit. Some of your flaws were so big that they could not be ignored.  I can only guess that you suffered from some kind of mental illness. 

I wrote this letter in order to let go of all the anger that I have had for you over the years.  You are now one with the universe once again.  I am sorry that we did not have a better relationship while you were still around.  I forgive you for all the pain you have caused.  It probably was not all you fault.  Please consider this letter as a symbol of peace

Love

Laruen